By Robert W. Armijo“Although I have just met the guy backstage,” said soon to be former Sen. Al Franken. “I am sure this…what’s his name again? Oh, yeah. That he will be suitable replacement and will make a great senator. Now I have to go because… I have a previously scheduled engagement to attend.”
Senator Franken then began to
walk away from the podium slowly at first then in a quickened pace when someone
came up to him and whispered in his ear, apparently causing him to return to
the microphone.
The audience erupted in to a
round of applause as Sen. Franken quickly ran backstage.
Several minutes passed and
the applause waned several times and would have died completely if not for an
assistant returning to the podium several times encouraging the audience to
keep applauding for the future senator, Stuart Smalley.
Finally, a timid looking man
wearing a sweater vest emerged onto the stage.
As Stuart Smalley walked up to
the podium, he tripped on a microphone cord and fell to the ground.
The audience gasped.
But Stuart Smalley quickly
popped back up, appearing behind the podium.
Stuart Smalley then began to
address the audience.
“Testing, testing, one, two,
three,” said Mr. Smalley. “Is this thing even ON?! ON?! ON?!”
Mr. Smalley questioned,
causing a feedback echo.
The audience answered a
collective “Yes!” as they covered their ears.
“Good to know. Good to know,”
said Mr. Smalley. “Hello fellow Minnesotans. My name is Stuart Smalley.”
“We know!” said someone in the audience.
Suddenly, Mr. Smalley took notice of a red dot on one of his index speech cards.
“Oh look,” said Mr. Smalley. "Someone’s red ink pen has leaked on one of my speech index cards.”
Mr. Smalley then realized it
was not red ink.
“Oh my goodness,” said Mr.
Smalley. “I am bleeding.”
Mr. Smalley then immediately
fell backwards, victim of a self-inflected bloody nose.
As the future senator
representing the great state of Minnesota
It read:
Today's Daily Affirmation
(Now Don't Screw this One Up, Stu. It's Very Important)
“I am good enough. I am smart
enough. And darn it, I deserve to be your senator.”
Photo(s) Courtesy of: Public
Domain and/or protected by Parody Law
Copyright © 2017 by Robert W.
Armijo. All rights reserved.
