Showing posts with label Russia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Russia. Show all posts

While Undergoing Surgery, Putin Puts His Personally Trained KGB Cat “Buttons” in Charge of the Entire Russian Nuclear Arsenal

"Buttons' -- The KGB Trained Cat -- Takes a Bathroom Break Before Re-assuming Tactical and Strategic Nuclear Command." 





 Copyright © 2022 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

The Russians Are Coming! The Russians Are Coming! The Russians Are Coming!

"See? I Told You So."
Sarah Plain maybe the first spokesperson ever to 

Cold Warmonger for both the GOP and the DNC
By Robert W.  Armijo


“By golly wow,” said Sarah Plain, as she appeared via a conference call before a Democratic committee to investigate the alleged Russian interference with the presidential election of 2016 and in the wake of President Trump’s one-on-one Helsinki meeting with Russian President Putin.

“I can still see Russia from my house,” said Sarah Palin, while she peered through a telescope, across the Bering Straits over and out to Russia.  

“Yes. We know, Sarah,” said a Congressman. “But what are the Russians doing right now?”

The former Republican vice president candidate once mocked by SNL’s Tina Fey’s portrayal of her as a conservative caricature has now ironically become the point man for the Democratic party in their effort to single-handedly revive the Cold War.

Among growing criticism that the Democratic National Committee (DNC) is putting partisan politics above the nation’s best interests, a spokesman for the Grand Old Party (GOP) recently stated.

“I just hope we’re not too late,” said a spokesman for the GOP. “Midterm elections are just around the corner."

“What do you see, Sarah?” repeated the Congressman. “What are the Russians doing?”

“Oh, yeah,” said Sarah Palin. “They are definitely packing their bags.”

“You hear that!” proclaimed the Congressman. “Sarah Plain says, ‘The Russians are coming! The Russians are coming! The Russians are coming!”

“Yeah, well, no,” said Sarah Palin. “I didn’t exactly say that. But yeah, sure. Okay. Why not?”



Copyright © 2018 by Robert W. Armijo

President Donald J. Trump, Russian Collusion Joke #1

By Robert W. Armijo



When asked by reporters if he was worried about the possibly of being charged with the crime of collusion with the Russians, President Donald J. Trump simply replied:

“No,” said POTUS 45, while shrugging his shoulders. “Why should I? My car insurance covers that.”









Photo(s) Courtesy of: Public Domain

Copyright© 2017 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

France Officially Passes the Torch to Russia

By Robert W. Armijo

Once upon a time in America when paranoia took control, french fries were ban from the cafeterias of the House of Representatives on Capitol Hill and re-branded "Freedom Fries".  



     

Is Russian salad dressing the next french fries? 

Let us have the collective courage to never ever relive those dark days ever again!

...On the other hand, is it really just a coincidence that both the French and Russian flags share the same colors? 

Huh?

...


Photos courtesy of : wpclipart.com

Copyright(C) 2017 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved. 

Russian Diplomat Child Forced to Open Xmas Present at SFO Int’l Airport



Fancy Bears Strike, Again!?

By Robert W. Armijo

“Quick, Natasha,” said Boris as he held the gloved hand of his youngest daughter, while standing in line at SFO Int’l waiting to clear the TSA. “Open your Xmas present before we board the plane back home to Mother Russia.”

“But why, Papa?” the mentally confused and emotionally shaken child asks.

“Because, Natasha,” replied the expelled diplomat. “Obama plays checkers, while Putin plays chess.”

As whistles and cheers rung in the New Year throughout the airport terminal, the child tearfully opens her present to find a chess game inside.

"Do you understand, Natasha?” sternly asks the father.

“Yes, Papa,” the child replies, while clutching the present to her chest.

Photo courtesy of wpclipart.com

Copyright © 2017 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Clinton Continues to Blame Russian Hackers as Her lead in the Polls and Popular Vote Defies Convention; Holds Press Conference at Forest’s Edge



By Robert W. Armijo


With a straight face, the former Democratic Party presidential candidate, Hillary Clinton continued to blame Russian hackers for her loss in her run for the White House 2016.

Hillary Clinton renewed her accusations at a press conference she held outdoors at the edge of a forest where she had been taking walks with her husband after her defeat in November.

“If only the Russians wouldn’t have hacked into the DNC emails and exposed that my nomination as the Democratic Party’s presidential nominee was a foregone conclusion and that Bernie Sanders never had a chance from the get go, I would be standing here before you inside a building as the first woman president-elect,” Hillary Clinton  said.

Hillary Clinton then threw on a bright red parka, a deep blue backpack and garbed a walking stick made of White Birch tree she had leaned up against the podium. 

“If you will excuse me now,” said Hillary Clinton. “I have a date with Mother nature and Al Gore. He gave me this walking stick. See? Those are his initials.”

Hillary Clinton then raised the stick in the air, proudly pointing  to the initials ‘A.G.’ carved on the side.

“A.G. that stands for Al Gore,” said Hillary Clinton. “He’s my friend.” 

Former president Bill Clinton then walked behind Hillary and while giving her a pat on the shoulder whispered  into her ear, “Come on honey. It’s time to go.”

“Time to go see Al?” Hillary Clinton asked out loud. 

Bill then began to walk Hillary off the stage 

“Sure,” Bill whispered. “Why not?”

“He’s my pal, you know,” said Hillary Clinton aloud.

”Yeah,” said Bill continuing to whisper. “Sure he is.”

As Hillary Clinton readied to descend the stage, a reporter yelled out, “If the Russians are to blame for your losing the election, how do you account for your lead in the polls before the election and popular vote subsequent to it?!”

Suddenly, Hillary broke free from her husband and dashed back onto the stage. 

“What was that!?” said Hillary as she slapped the walking stick in the palm of her hand in a threatening way. “I didn’t catch that. What did you say?”

“Nothing,” said the reporter. “Never mind.”

“Yeah,” said Hillary. “I thought so.”

Once again, Bill gently placed his hand on Hillary’s shoulder, guiding her off the stage like a coach would a prized fighter out of a boxing ring after losing the match. 

Copyright © 2016 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.