Showing posts with label sexual harassment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sexual harassment. Show all posts

One-Hundred Very, Very, So Very French Women Say “Time’s Up” for “#METOO”?

"Is that a .357 Magnum in your pocket?
Or are you just happy to see me?"
By Robert W. Armijo

Are you surprised that blow-back against the anti-sexual harassment “Time’s Up” and “#METOO” movements would originate from France?


What would you expect from the country that created the sexy French Maid uniform, legitimized mistresses, literally invented a new way of  kissing, which everyone in the world calls – what else --French kissing; the threesome and let’s not forget the one to two yards long phallic symbol baguette and French Fries -- The Irish had been boiling potatoes for a century and never, ever thought of frying them.

“We are French women! We must stand up like Joan of Arc and protect our overly sexually aggressive Latin men,” said a female signatory to the letter and spokeswoman for the group accusing the “Time’s Up” and “#METOO” anti-sexual harassment movements of going too far.  “How else will little French girls grow up, expecting one day as adult women to become French maids or mistresses? Fend off being French kissed by strangers on the Metro during rush hour? Or being crudely invited to participate in a ménage à trois?

As the spokeswoman addressed the international press core, the aforementioned symbols of France were modeled in the background. 

“Sexual harassment is deeply...Oh…so, so very, very deeply embedded in French culture,” said the spokeswoman, as she and members of the press all wiped away beads of sweat from their collective foreheads. “They are forever engaged. It is impossible to separate them!”

Then as a woman modeling a French maid uniform carrying a baguette in hand passed by the spokeswomen, the spokeswomen reached out and grabbed it.

She then began to wave the one yard-long baguette wildly in the air above her head as she spoke with an even more fervent temperament.

“And what do you expect us to do with our baguettes? Eat them?!” said the spokeswoman, as she broke the baguette in half, threw it at the feet of the reporters and stormed out of the press conference. “Vive la France! Vive la difference!”

Caption Reads:
"Is that a .357 Magnum in your pocket? 
Or are you just happy to see me?"

Photo(s) Courtesy of: Public domain  

Copyright© 2018 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Mistletoe, Gateway Plant to Sexual Harassment and Assault??? Banned at Office Xmas Parties!!!

"Hey, you two! Get out from under that mistletoe!
Quit engaging in that politically incorrect, once socially
acceptable behavior. Didn't you get the memo from HR?"

By Robert W. Armijo

As we all know, this year was unprecedented in regards to the number of accusations of sexual harassment and even sexual assault at the office or workplace. So much so thousands of human resource (HR) departments around the Christmas observing world broke with a long standing seasonal tradition: mistletoe.

“It's the leading cause of both sexual harassment and sexual assault claims,” said Beverly DeAngelo, head of the HR department at

DeAngelo says that with the combination of  letting down of one’s hair, carnival-like atmosphere and use of alcohol makes for a witch’s brew of bad behavior.

“Add on top of that mistletoe” continued DeAngelo. “And you got yourself a sexual harassment and/or sexual assault claim in the making.”

Mistletoe, a plant that has been apart of Christmas since the religious holiday had been observed, has served as a useful device or excuse to kiss someone you would not otherwise get to kiss on any other occasion or circumstance.

"The rules are clear enough," acknowledged DeAngelo. "You get sexually harassed...I mean sexually assaulted...I mean kissed only if you are standing under the mistletoe -- That's why I call it the gateway plant to sexual harassment and/or sexual assault."

According to DeAngelo, all forms of contextually socially acceptable excuses to make physical contact with the oppose and same sex have to be rethought; if not outright outlawed in this post Harvey Weinstein, Charlie Rose and Matt Lauer days.

DeAngelo is currently looking into other employer sponsored events like the company picnic to ban other longstanding traditions.

“So far, we are banning the three legged potato sack race,” said DeAngelo. “It’s too close for comfort. Plus we would be reducing our risk of a lawsuit for a possible violation the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). So I guess you could say, it’s a win, win all-around on that one.”  

DeAngelo explained that the potential for skin-to-skin human contact is too great of a risk to take for mere group cohesion at the office or workplace.

"We could all stand for a little less humanity at the office," said DeAngelo. "And focus more on productivity, wouldn't say?"

Photo(s) Courtesy of:

Copyright© 2017 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

♫Where in the World is Matt Lauer?♫

By Robert W. Armijo

"Greek Chorus" [singing boldly and loudly]:

♫Where in the World is Matt Lauer?♫

[Mechanical sounds of an automated door lock remotely activated from behind an office desk] 

"Greek Chorus" [gagging...]

[Mechanical sound of a final click]

"Greek Chorus" [now softly singing to each other, among themselves]:

♫In his office sex dungeon!♫

"Greek Chorus" [continues to gag...]

Photo Courtesy of: 

Copyright (C) 2017 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved. 

Is Harvey Weinstein Making a Movie Based on his Life?

"Harvey? Wait a minute, Harvey. What do you think you're doing?"
"You, baby! You!"

By Robert W. Armijo

Formerly disgraced Hollywood producer, Harvey Weinstein is reportedly making a movie based on his life, casting himself in the lead role.

"Apparently, Weinstein got wind of Heather Graham’s plans to make a movie about her alleged encounter of sexual harassment  with the Hollywood producer and he is attempting to put out a movie giving his side of the story," said a movie critic.

Casting for the movie has already begun.

“It’s an open casting call to all attractive female actresses that resemble Heather Graham,” said a spokesman for Harvey Weinstein.  “All they have to do is show up at his residence scantly clad and be prepared to sign a waiver.”

Photo courtesy of:

Copyright © 2017 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved. 

D.C. Womyn from N.O.W. Finally Escaping from Underneath the Shadow of the Washington Monument by Vowing to Pass the ERA? Oh, Yeah. NOT!

By Robert W. Armijo

D.C. Womyn from N.O.W. Finally Escaping from Underneath the Shadow of the Washington Monument by Vowing to Pass the ERA? Oh, Yeah. NOT!

Copyright (C) 2017 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.