Showing posts with label France. Show all posts
Showing posts with label France. Show all posts

One-Hundred Very, Very, So Very French Women Say “Time’s Up” for “#METOO”?

"Is that a .357 Magnum in your pocket?
Or are you just happy to see me?"
By Robert W. Armijo

Are you surprised that blow-back against the anti-sexual harassment “Time’s Up” and “#METOO” movements would originate from France?

Really?!

What would you expect from the country that created the sexy French Maid uniform, legitimized mistresses, literally invented a new way of  kissing, which everyone in the world calls – what else --French kissing; the threesome and let’s not forget the one to two yards long phallic symbol baguette and French Fries -- The Irish had been boiling potatoes for a century and never, ever thought of frying them.

“We are French women! We must stand up like Joan of Arc and protect our overly sexually aggressive Latin men,” said a female signatory to the letter and spokeswoman for the group accusing the “Time’s Up” and “#METOO” anti-sexual harassment movements of going too far.  “How else will little French girls grow up, expecting one day as adult women to become French maids or mistresses? Fend off being French kissed by strangers on the Metro during rush hour? Or being crudely invited to participate in a ménage à trois?

As the spokeswoman addressed the international press core, the aforementioned symbols of France were modeled in the background. 

“Sexual harassment is deeply...Oh…so, so very, very deeply embedded in French culture,” said the spokeswoman, as she and members of the press all wiped away beads of sweat from their collective foreheads. “They are forever engaged. It is impossible to separate them!”

Then as a woman modeling a French maid uniform carrying a baguette in hand passed by the spokeswomen, the spokeswomen reached out and grabbed it.

She then began to wave the one yard-long baguette wildly in the air above her head as she spoke with an even more fervent temperament.

“And what do you expect us to do with our baguettes? Eat them?!” said the spokeswoman, as she broke the baguette in half, threw it at the feet of the reporters and stormed out of the press conference. “Vive la France! Vive la difference!”



Caption Reads:
"Is that a .357 Magnum in your pocket? 
Or are you just happy to see me?"


Photo(s) Courtesy of: Public domain  


Copyright© 2018 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.







France Officially Passes the Torch to Russia

By Robert W. Armijo

Once upon a time in America when paranoia took control, french fries were ban from the cafeterias of the House of Representatives on Capitol Hill and re-branded "Freedom Fries".  



     

Is Russian salad dressing the next french fries? 

Let us have the collective courage to never ever relive those dark days ever again!

...On the other hand, is it really just a coincidence that both the French and Russian flags share the same colors? 

Huh?

...


Photos courtesy of : wpclipart.com

Copyright(C) 2017 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved. 

President Obama to World: Je Suis Charlie Who?

President Obama to World: Je Suis Charlie Who?
Washington, D.C. –

During Monday’s routine cabinet meeting at the White House, a foreign affairs advisor read aloud for pending presidential approval a prepared press release.

It acknowledged that the Obama administration had dropped the ball in not sending a more senior representative to participate in the ‘Je Suis Charlie’ Paris march on Sunday, which was attended by 40 world leaders.

Reportedly, that is when President Obama leaned over to Vice President, Joe Biden and whispered into his ear, “Je Suis Charlie who?”

“You know,” Biden whispered back. “The famous general, statesman and architect of the Fifth French Republic and its first president as well, Charles de Gaulle.”

“Oh man,” sighed the president. “Did I almost make a big mistake. I thought they meant Charlie Brown.”

“Yeah, me too,” added Biden. “I had to look it up on Wikipedia.”

“Say, didn’t I shut them down?” asked President Obama.

“No,” replied Biden. “Not yet.”



Copyright © 2008-2015 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.
Photo courtesy of: wpclipart.com

White House Sends Card to France, Apologizes for Not Attending Je Suis Charlie Paris March Joke #3


“Sorry, I missed your ‘Je Suis Charlie’ march on Sunday,” wrote President Obama.

 “P.S. In my defense, I could have done worse. I could’ve sent Joe Biden.”


Copyright © 2008-2015 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.
Photo courtesy of: wpclipart.com


White House Sends Card to France, Apologizes for Not Attending Je Suis Charlie Paris March Joke #2


“Sorry, I missed your ‘Je Suis Charlie’ march on Sunday,” wrote President Obama. 

“P.S. I thought Bastille Day wasn’t until July 14th?”


Copyright © 2008-2015 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.
Photo courtesy of: wpclipart.com



White House Sends Card to France, Apologizes for Not Attending Je Suis Charlie Paris March Joke #1


“Sorry, I missed your ‘Je Suis Charlie’ march on Sunday,” wrote President Obama.

“P.S. I did not know how highly the people of France revered Charles M. Schulz. Or what ‘Peanuts’ fans you guys really are. I thought y’all were a bunch of Jerry Lewis fanatics.”


Copyright © 2008-2015 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.
Photo courtesy of: wpclipart.com