Top Five Ways Russian Hackers Influenced the American Presidential Election of 2016



♫Tomorrow, tomorrow…

You’re always a day away♫


By Robert W. Armijo

#5) Russia hacked into all the political polls (except one) projecting Hillary Clinton as the winner. Thereby luring the Clinton campaign into a false sense of security and thus loosing the election to Donald Trump. 

#4) Russia hacked into the electrical college encouraging members to defect from Donald Trump and instead cast their vote for Hillary Clinton – No. Wait. That was Hillary Clinton supporters.   

#3) Russia hacked into the Green Party server, demanding a recount in key states that Donald Trump carried. 

#2) Russia hacked into the popular vote, giving Hillary Clinton 2.9 million more votes than Donald Trump -- If they hadn't, she would have lost the popular vote as well. Donald Trump actually won the popular vote and by five million, too. 

"I got zilch here, people."

#1) Russia hacked into the Democratic National Committee (DNC) server, resulting in the 2016  nomination of Hillary Clinton for the presidency of the United States of America.  


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Copyright © 2008-2017 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Clinton Continues to Blame Russian Hackers as Her lead in the Polls and Popular Vote Defies Convention; Holds Press Conference at Forest’s Edge



By Robert W. Armijo


With a straight face, the former Democratic Party presidential candidate, Hillary Clinton continued to blame Russian hackers for her loss in her run for the White House 2016.

Hillary Clinton renewed her accusations at a press conference she held outdoors at the edge of a forest where she had been taking walks with her husband after her defeat in November.

“If only the Russians wouldn’t have hacked into the DNC emails and exposed that my nomination as the Democratic Party’s presidential nominee was a foregone conclusion and that Bernie Sanders never had a chance from the get go, I would be standing here before you inside a building as the first woman president-elect,” Hillary Clinton  said.

Hillary Clinton then threw on a bright red parka, a deep blue backpack and garbed a walking stick made of White Birch tree she had leaned up against the podium. 

“If you will excuse me now,” said Hillary Clinton. “I have a date with Mother nature and Al Gore. He gave me this walking stick. See? Those are his initials.”

Hillary Clinton then raised the stick in the air, proudly pointing  to the initials ‘A.G.’ carved on the side.

“A.G. that stands for Al Gore,” said Hillary Clinton. “He’s my friend.” 

Former president Bill Clinton then walked behind Hillary and while giving her a pat on the shoulder whispered  into her ear, “Come on honey. It’s time to go.”

“Time to go see Al?” Hillary Clinton asked out loud. 

Bill then began to walk Hillary off the stage 

“Sure,” Bill whispered. “Why not?”

“He’s my pal, you know,” said Hillary Clinton aloud.

”Yeah,” said Bill continuing to whisper. “Sure he is.”

As Hillary Clinton readied to descend the stage, a reporter yelled out, “If the Russians are to blame for your losing the election, how do you account for your lead in the polls before the election and popular vote subsequent to it?!”

Suddenly, Hillary broke free from her husband and dashed back onto the stage. 

“What was that!?” said Hillary as she slapped the walking stick in the palm of her hand in a threatening way. “I didn’t catch that. What did you say?”

“Nothing,” said the reporter. “Never mind.”

“Yeah,” said Hillary. “I thought so.”

Once again, Bill gently placed his hand on Hillary’s shoulder, guiding her off the stage like a coach would a prized fighter out of a boxing ring after losing the match. 

Copyright © 2016 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Russian President Putin and the Fancy Bears' Global Hacker Team Joke #1


Is this Message Really
Lost in Translation This Time?
Question: What’s Russian President Putin’s Secret Fancy Bears' Hacker Team Name?

Answer: Pooh-Tin

(Get it? Like as in Winnie the Pooh bear).

Caption Reads: Is this Message Really 
Lost in Translation This Time?
Copyright (C) 2016 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved. 

String Theory Now Officially a Philosophy?


Despite the recent discoveries made in the field of physics at CERN, Cambridge just announced that String Theory will now be taught by the philosophy department...What are they preparing us for?



Copyright (c) 2016 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.  

Low Turnout at Bernie Sanders (BS) Rallies for Hillary Clinton Causes PBS to Change Title of BS Documentary


"Pay no attention to the man 
or the woman behind the curtain!"

Robert W. Armijo

After a poor turnout of supporters at a couple of Bernie Sanders rallies for Hillary Clinton in Ohio this past weekend (300 at one venue, 150 at another and the unexplained cancellation of a third), PBS announced it would be changing the title of the documentary it plans to air on election night on the phenomenal rise and fall of the popularity of the Bernie Sanders movement among millennials.

“In light of Bernie Sanders conceding to the establishment by throwing in the towel, becoming a carnival barker for Hillary and the recent failing attendance by millennials at his pro Clinton rallies, the original title of ‘Bernie Sanders Electrifies the Electric: The Political Force of Millennials Awakens’ somehow now seems contrived,” said a spokesperson for PBS. “So were changing it to something more realistic like ‘My Weekend at Bernie Sanders’, which we feel is more reflective of the situation. After all, it is a documentary on American politics and not some grand Hollywood production.”

Copyright © 2008-2016 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.
Photo courtesy of: wpclipart.com

Hillary Clinton Vows More Transparency; Orders Stealth Pantsuit


Peek-A-Boo!!!

By Robert W. Armijo

Hillary Clinton’s latest leaked emails allegedly show her continued lack of transparency and apparent credibility. 

“She is going to have trouble explaining this one away,” said a political pundit. 

Evidently, her leaked GPS and time-stamp equipped emails place her on stage at a political rally before her supporters, promising more transparency. 

“The trouble is that while she was delivering her transparency speech to the audience,” said a political pundit. “She was tweeting her secret service security detail, asking them for updates on the progress they were making on the stealth pantsuit she ordered to make for her.”

Begin transcript:

Hillary: Where’s my high-tech optic refracting garment? 

Secret Service: You mean your stealth pantsuit?

Hillary: Yes.

Secret Service: You weren't joking? You were serious?

Hillary: Yeah. 

Secret Service: Um, we’ll get working on it right of way.

Hillary: Make sure you do. I practically feel naked up here with all these people able to see me. I’m going to stand behind the podium for a while. 

End transcript.

Former President William Clinton immediately came to the defense of the democratic prudential candidate. 

“Look,” said Mr. Clinton. “She simply misunderstood what the American people meant by the word transparency. She obviously took it literally.”

Stealth technology experts confirm that if Hillary Clinton were to don such a high-tech pantsuit, people would not only not be able to see she her, but they would be able to see right through her as well.

“That’s what the American people should take away from this,” said Mr. Clinton. “Hillary ordered that stealth pantsuit so people could see right through her.”

Copyright © 2008-2016 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.
Photo courtesy of: wpclipart.com