How Donald Trump Smashed the ‘Blue Wall’?


By Robert W. Armijo

Easy, the night of the election Donald Trump supporters handed out cans of red paint to voters trapped beyond the Blue Wall and told them to go out and paint the town red.





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Copyright © 2017 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Donald Trump’s 10-Year-Old Grandson Tweets for His Grandpa Trump


By Robert W. Armijo

Donald Trump confirmed that he does not actually type out his Tweets for his Twitter account. 

“He dictates them to an aide who then types them out on the Twitter platform for him,” said spokesman for Trump.

However, someone from the Trump camp leaked out that the so-called aide that is doing the typing is actually Trump’s 10-year-old grandson. 

“That would explain the adolescent colloquial diction,” said Prof. Peter Johnson, a linguist who teaches at the University of Cassandra and who was a movie consultant on the Hollywood blockbuster, 'Arrival'".
  
According to Prof. Johnson, Trump’s Tweets are not merely being type out by his grandson, but they are being translated by the immature mind of a prepubescent a 10-year-old boy.  

“It is obvious the boy is translating his grandfather’s adult diction into the vocabulary his knows best and that is one of a minor,” said Prof. Johnson. 

Prof. Johnson points the over use of monosyllable sarcastic words as well like “Wow”, “Nice” and “Really???’

“Note the use of over punctuation in the use of the question mark with the use of the ‘Really,” said Prof. Johnson.  “It is an added infection to denote extreme sarcasm.”

According to Prof. Johnson, children often resort to sarcasm and extreme sacrum as a coping mechanism or tool to convey their frustration with a topic or subject that they really, really do not grasp or understand. 

Prof. Johnson says he is surprised that Trump’s grandson has not yet used emoji's as a new form of self expression.

“Perhaps he has not discovered that feature on his smart phone. Or he has not figured out how to override the parental lock on them just yet,” said Prof. Johnson. “And for good reason, too. You do not want a 10-year-old boy anywhere near the bomb emoji Tweeting for someone who has direct access to our nation’s nuclear codes. That could prove most disastrous in the end.”


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Copyright © 2017 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.



The Fun Fake News Hillary Clinton Caption Contest Winner Is?

"Quick, take the damn picture 

before the Botox wears off."


The winner of the Fun Fake News Hillary Clinton Caption Contest has requested to remain anonymous and asked to be identified simply by his initials instead.

So congratulations goes out to you “D.T.”, because you just won the Fun Fake News Hillary Clinton caption contest!





Caption Reads: "Quick, take the damn picture before the Botox wears off."

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Copyright © 2017 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.



Top Five Ways Russian Hackers Influenced the American Presidential Election of 2016



♫Tomorrow, tomorrow…

You’re always a day away♫


By Robert W. Armijo

#5) Russia hacked into all the political polls (except one) projecting Hillary Clinton as the winner. Thereby luring the Clinton campaign into a false sense of security and thus loosing the election to Donald Trump. 

#4) Russia hacked into the electrical college encouraging members to defect from Donald Trump and instead cast their vote for Hillary Clinton – No. Wait. That was Hillary Clinton supporters.   

#3) Russia hacked into the Green Party server, demanding a recount in key states that Donald Trump carried. 

#2) Russia hacked into the popular vote, giving Hillary Clinton 2.9 million more votes than Donald Trump -- If they hadn't, she would have lost the popular vote as well. Donald Trump actually won the popular vote and by five million, too. 

"I got zilch here, people."

#1) Russia hacked into the Democratic National Committee (DNC) server, resulting in the 2016  nomination of Hillary Clinton for the presidency of the United States of America.  


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Copyright © 2008-2017 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Clinton Continues to Blame Russian Hackers as Her lead in the Polls and Popular Vote Defies Convention; Holds Press Conference at Forest’s Edge



By Robert W. Armijo


With a straight face, the former Democratic Party presidential candidate, Hillary Clinton continued to blame Russian hackers for her loss in her run for the White House 2016.

Hillary Clinton renewed her accusations at a press conference she held outdoors at the edge of a forest where she had been taking walks with her husband after her defeat in November.

“If only the Russians wouldn’t have hacked into the DNC emails and exposed that my nomination as the Democratic Party’s presidential nominee was a foregone conclusion and that Bernie Sanders never had a chance from the get go, I would be standing here before you inside a building as the first woman president-elect,” Hillary Clinton  said.

Hillary Clinton then threw on a bright red parka, a deep blue backpack and garbed a walking stick made of White Birch tree she had leaned up against the podium. 

“If you will excuse me now,” said Hillary Clinton. “I have a date with Mother nature and Al Gore. He gave me this walking stick. See? Those are his initials.”

Hillary Clinton then raised the stick in the air, proudly pointing  to the initials ‘A.G.’ carved on the side.

“A.G. that stands for Al Gore,” said Hillary Clinton. “He’s my friend.” 

Former president Bill Clinton then walked behind Hillary and while giving her a pat on the shoulder whispered  into her ear, “Come on honey. It’s time to go.”

“Time to go see Al?” Hillary Clinton asked out loud. 

Bill then began to walk Hillary off the stage 

“Sure,” Bill whispered. “Why not?”

“He’s my pal, you know,” said Hillary Clinton aloud.

”Yeah,” said Bill continuing to whisper. “Sure he is.”

As Hillary Clinton readied to descend the stage, a reporter yelled out, “If the Russians are to blame for your losing the election, how do you account for your lead in the polls before the election and popular vote subsequent to it?!”

Suddenly, Hillary broke free from her husband and dashed back onto the stage. 

“What was that!?” said Hillary as she slapped the walking stick in the palm of her hand in a threatening way. “I didn’t catch that. What did you say?”

“Nothing,” said the reporter. “Never mind.”

“Yeah,” said Hillary. “I thought so.”

Once again, Bill gently placed his hand on Hillary’s shoulder, guiding her off the stage like a coach would a prized fighter out of a boxing ring after losing the match. 

Copyright © 2016 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Russian President Putin and the Fancy Bears' Global Hacker Team Joke #1


Is this Message Really
Lost in Translation This Time?
Question: What’s Russian President Putin’s Secret Fancy Bears' Hacker Team Name?

Answer: Pooh-Tin

(Get it? Like as in Winnie the Pooh bear).

Caption Reads: Is this Message Really 
Lost in Translation This Time?
Copyright (C) 2016 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.