Showing posts with label China. Show all posts
Showing posts with label China. Show all posts

Donald Trump in Negotiations with Beijing to Buy the Great Wall of China -- Relocating It to US/Mexico Int’l Border?

Is Donald Trump Really Talking with the Chinese
to Buy the Great Wall?
-- Beijing, China

By Robert W. Armijo

When asked by reporters if there was any truth to the rumor that he was involved in secret negotiations with the Chinese government to buy a section of the Great Wall of China for the purpose of deploying it along the US/Mexico Int’l boarder, the Republican presidential candidate, Donald Trump, replied:

“I can neither confirm or deny that I’m engaged in talks with the Chicoms [Chinese Communist],” said Donald Trump.

Donald Trump then quickly added:

"So, we got deal then?"
“But I’ll tell you what,” said Donald Trump the former host of The Apprentice TV show. “It [The Great Wall of China] helped keep the Mongols out of China. It can help keep the Mexicans out of the USA too.”

“And another thing,” continued the real estate mogul, Donald Trump. “If I were in negations with the Chicoms it wouldn’t be to buy a section of the Great Wall of China and place it on the Mexican border."

Donald Trump then paused a moment to brush his hair over his forehead with his hand before continuing to speak.

"I’d be in negations with the Chicoms to buy the whole entire wall," said the current Republican front-runner, Donald Trump. "And I’d place it all around the continental United States. Sorry Alaska. Sorry Hawaii. You’re on your own.”

Copyright © 2016 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

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President Obama Evolves into Pure Energy or Taken Out by Chicom Sat?

"Listen, Val. Like I said. I had Chinese takeout the night before."
 By Robert W. Armijo

The first to take the next evolutionary step for mankind, the Whitehouse announced today that President Obama turned into a beam of translucent light.

“President Obama is now pure energy,’’ said a spokesman for the Whitehouse.

The event  happened at noon EST, while the president was sitting at his desk in the Oval Office.
“He was on the phone talking to Russian President, Vladimir Putin at the time,” said the spokesman.

The two world leaders had been discussing China’s recent observance of the 70th anniversary of the allied victory over the fascist axis forces of WWII when President Putin asked President Obama why he did not attend the event.

President Obama replied that he already had Chinese takeout the night before and therefore did not feel the need to attend. 

“That’s when it happened,” said the spokesman. “He turned into a beam of light and ascended straight to heaven.”

Meanwhile, the Secret Service is conducting its own investigation into the matter or anti-matter.

“We’re not dismissing the possibility that the president evolved,” said a spokesman for the Secret Service. “After all, he has done it before when he changed his position on same sex marriage.”

Although refusing to go on the record, it is believed by security experts that the Secret Service is looking into the more likely alternative possibility that the president was struck by a Chinese-made high energy particle beam weapon from an orbiting platform in space. 

“After all, America has lost its technical advantage to China,” said a security expert. “Having fallen behind in developing new more advanced weapon systems, due to its never ending war on terrorism.” 

“It’s a Whitehouse cover up,” said a spokesman for the GOP. “They know damn well the president was hit by a Chicom military satellite. They just don’t want to admit that America has fallen behind the Chinese. Instead, they rather have the American people believe their president evolved into a beam of light. When will this administration ever take responsibility for its mistakes? It’s Benghazi all over again.”

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Copyright © 2015 by Robert W. Armjo. All rights reserved.

Blind Chinese Dissident Escapes House Arrest Assisted Only by His White Red-Striped Walking Cane!

Beijing, China –

Operating under the premise that children, the elderly and the handicapped are an invisible segment of our population in today’s modern society, a blind Chinese dissident escaped house arrest yesterday by recording and then looping the tapping sound he makes while walking with his white red-striped cane.

After making a few passes through his house, the visually impaired dissident then turned on the recording of the tapping noise, playing it for his unsuspecting captors.

As the bodyguards went about their daily routine of reading the newspaper, eating lunch and even engaging in light housekeeping, the blind man walked right out the front door to freedom.

“We’re so accustomed to ignoring the physically challenged,” said a clinical psychologist. “And those other two groups…um, that’s funny. Their names momentarily escape me. Any ways, they might as well be invisible, too.”

Apparently the dissident used his second-class social status of invisibility to his advantage, as he successfully escaped house arrest. Made his way down the driveway, walking right pass the armed guards stationed at their posts at the front gate of his home.

Then, once outside the compound, the blind man safely negotiated a pathway through downtown Beijing during the height of rush hour traffic. Which presented a greater danger to his life then his entire years under the watchful eye of the Chinese government.

Traffic cameras showed several close calls and near misses. However, the dissident persisted and emerged unscathed.

Finally reaching the sanctuary of the American embassy, the blind dissident tapped his way right passed the U.S. Marines guarding the embassy.

“We didn’t even know he was here,” said a spokesman for the U.S. envoy.

Not until the Chinese government informed the U.S. embassy of their missing dissident.

A quick search of the embassy grounds by American personnel initially turned up nothing, however.

“Until we checked our security cameras,” said the U.S. envoy spokesman. “And sure enough, there he was in the lobby. Just sitting there. Tapping away with his cane.”

Later, forensic analysis of the tapping determined the dissident was sending out a desperate plea in Morse Code: “WTF is wrong with you people? I want to defect. Can’t you see that? Are you blind or something? Holy [BLEEP] don’t tell me you’re hearing impaired too?”

Moments before embassy security cameras captured the blind man walking back-and-forth in front of the receptionist’s desk, asking to speak with a high ranking official. But he was completely ignored.

“She looked up from her magazine for a second,” explained the U.S. envoy spokesman. “But she didn’t see anything -- Just some blind guy mumbling to himself as he paced the floor.”

By that time, the dissident had tired. So he found a seat and sat down, waiting for the authorities to notice him by tapping out a message with his white red-striped cane.

Although the fate of the dissident is uncertain at this time, as to whether he will be returned to the Chinese government or remain in the protective custody of the U.S., who can say.

It is brinkmanship on the brink as to who will blink first: The Chinese or the Americans.

One thing is certain, however: Like the political stance he has taken, the blind dissident is no longer invisible.

“On the other hand, we’re in a presidential election year,” said an Obama White House official, asking not to be identified. “So either way, we’re screwed.”

No matter what course of action the Obama administration takes, the unidentified Obama official says he can read tomorrow’s GOP newspaper headlines today:

’Obama’s Failed Foreign Policy Fails to Protect Free Speech in China!’” said the Obama White House official. “Or worse yet, ‘Obama’s Foreign Policy in China Literally Lead by Blind Man!

Copyright © 2008-2012 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

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