Showing posts with label politics as usual. Show all posts
Showing posts with label politics as usual. Show all posts

Blind Chinese Dissident Escapes House Arrest Assisted Only by His White Red-Striped Walking Cane!

Beijing, China –

Operating under the premise that children, the elderly and the handicapped are an invisible segment of our population in today’s modern society, a blind Chinese dissident escaped house arrest yesterday by recording and then looping the tapping sound he makes while walking with his white red-striped cane.

After making a few passes through his house, the visually impaired dissident then turned on the recording of the tapping noise, playing it for his unsuspecting captors.

As the bodyguards went about their daily routine of reading the newspaper, eating lunch and even engaging in light housekeeping, the blind man walked right out the front door to freedom.

“We’re so accustomed to ignoring the physically challenged,” said a clinical psychologist. “And those other two groups…um, that’s funny. Their names momentarily escape me. Any ways, they might as well be invisible, too.”

Apparently the dissident used his second-class social status of invisibility to his advantage, as he successfully escaped house arrest. Made his way down the driveway, walking right pass the armed guards stationed at their posts at the front gate of his home.

Then, once outside the compound, the blind man safely negotiated a pathway through downtown Beijing during the height of rush hour traffic. Which presented a greater danger to his life then his entire years under the watchful eye of the Chinese government.

Traffic cameras showed several close calls and near misses. However, the dissident persisted and emerged unscathed.

Finally reaching the sanctuary of the American embassy, the blind dissident tapped his way right passed the U.S. Marines guarding the embassy.

“We didn’t even know he was here,” said a spokesman for the U.S. envoy.

Not until the Chinese government informed the U.S. embassy of their missing dissident.

A quick search of the embassy grounds by American personnel initially turned up nothing, however.

“Until we checked our security cameras,” said the U.S. envoy spokesman. “And sure enough, there he was in the lobby. Just sitting there. Tapping away with his cane.”

Later, forensic analysis of the tapping determined the dissident was sending out a desperate plea in Morse Code: “WTF is wrong with you people? I want to defect. Can’t you see that? Are you blind or something? Holy [BLEEP] don’t tell me you’re hearing impaired too?”

Moments before embassy security cameras captured the blind man walking back-and-forth in front of the receptionist’s desk, asking to speak with a high ranking official. But he was completely ignored.

“She looked up from her magazine for a second,” explained the U.S. envoy spokesman. “But she didn’t see anything -- Just some blind guy mumbling to himself as he paced the floor.”

By that time, the dissident had tired. So he found a seat and sat down, waiting for the authorities to notice him by tapping out a message with his white red-striped cane.

Although the fate of the dissident is uncertain at this time, as to whether he will be returned to the Chinese government or remain in the protective custody of the U.S., who can say.

It is brinkmanship on the brink as to who will blink first: The Chinese or the Americans.

One thing is certain, however: Like the political stance he has taken, the blind dissident is no longer invisible.

“On the other hand, we’re in a presidential election year,” said an Obama White House official, asking not to be identified. “So either way, we’re screwed.”

No matter what course of action the Obama administration takes, the unidentified Obama official says he can read tomorrow’s GOP newspaper headlines today:

’Obama’s Failed Foreign Policy Fails to Protect Free Speech in China!’” said the Obama White House official. “Or worse yet, ‘Obama’s Foreign Policy in China Literally Lead by Blind Man!

Copyright © 2008-2012 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

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