Showing posts with label Zuccotti Park. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Zuccotti Park. Show all posts

Another “Occupy Wall Street” Joke

A conservative mother sent off her adult liberal son, a recent college graduate, to join the Occupy Wall Street movement with her blessing. Somewhat surprised, the son couldn’t resist asking his mother why she changed her mind. The mother abruptly replied, “Because, you’ve been living in the basement for over a year now. Time to go occupy someplace else.”

Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Occupy Wall Street Calling: Send ‘Snuggies’ to Defy Ban on Sleeping Bags and Tents at Zuccotti Park

New York, New York –

Ironically described as the freedom blanket, the Snuggy now has a chance to live up to its commercial characterization. As Occupy Wall Street protestors are calling for hundreds of the unisex body-length sleeved coverings to be sent to them in order to be in compliance with authority’s latest attempt to squish the so-called “Anti-Wall Street” movement by prohibiting sleeping bags and tents in Zuccotti Park.

“With the Snuggies, we’ll be in compliance with the current ban on sleeping bags and tents,” said an occupier wearing a red, white and blue Snuggy, while handing out Snuggies to others. “And more importantly, we won’t freeze to death in the process.”

However, protestors are under no illusion that making the request for Snuggies will halt police and city officials from harassing them.

“It’s a stopgap measure,” said another occupier. “Designed to cover the occupiers, while exposing the hypocrisy of the police and city officials. Forcing them to come up with even more ridiculous excuses in an attempt to arrest this experiment called democracy.”

Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Crosby and Nash Perform “♪Back in the USSR♪” at “Occupy Wall Street”

New York, New York –

Sharing a senior drug induced purple haze psychedelic groovy moment, Crosby and Nash -- the two surviving members from the 1960s rock group Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young -- performed “♪Back in the USSR♪” for “Occupy Wall Street” today, initially drawing a mixed reaction from the audience.

“Thank you, comrades,” said Crosby and Nash after they finished singing “Back in the USSR”.

The controversial song ending a set of other iconic drug songs from the 1960s, which Crosby and Nash played including: “Alice” and the “Yellow Submarine”.

Uncertain how to react, however, the folks at “Occupy Wall Street” responded with a spattering of reluctant applause and some vocal protest to the song’s obvious political overtones.

“I was with you guys right up to that last song,” shouted out an occupier dressed in a business suit and carrying an attaché case.

“What do you mean?” yelled back another occupier wearing a poncho and sporting dreadlocks. “Back in the USSR’ is a Rock ’n’ Roll classic, mon.”

“Yeah, but it makes us look like we’re an anti-capitalism movement. When we’re clearly not,” replied the occupier in a suit. “Right?”

“Don’t tell me you’re for the mon, mon,” said the occupier in dreadlocks.

The argument between the two occupiers became so heated that it drew the attention of Crosby and Nash.

“Hey, dudes!” said Crosby. “Take a chill pill, man.”

“Yeah,” said Nash. “Like, what’s your problem anyway?”

The two men explained how the last song divided them along socio-economic lines, political idealism and class warfare. And requested that the two musicians end their acoustic jam on a song that would unite them instead.

“Sure,” said Nash. “We can do that.”

“Yeah, man. That’s what we’re here for, man,” said Crosby.

“What should we play?” Nash said turning to Crosby. “Like what one song would unify this diversified sea of humanity?”

Crosby looked down at the ground, as if in deep thought. His eyes suddenly catching the end of a nearly spent joint [a marijuana cigarette] he dropped earlier. Reaching down to the floor to pick it up, it spontaneously lit up at the end of his fingertips.

“I got it, mon,” said Crosby to Nash, exhaling a cloud of the hallucinogenic into Nash’s face.

“What?” replied Nash, taking in a deep breath and holding it in awhile before releasing it. “Oh yeah, right…But what about the song?”

“Just follow my led, mon,” said Crosby, handing over the marijuana cigarette butt to Nash.

“You got it,” replied Nash as he took a drag on the funny cigarette too. “You got it, mon.”

“♪Puff the Magic Dragon♪” the two spontaneously broke out singing in perfect unison, which was quickly echoed by the ‘People’s Mic’.

“♪PUFF THE MAGIC DRAGON♪” sang all in Zuccotti Park as they held hands, swaying back and forth to the beat of the music. “♪LIVED BY THE SEA…”

Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Mitt Romney Sends Delegation to Occupy ‘Occupy Wall Street’

New York, New York –

Presidential candidate Mitt Romney took time out of his busy schedule today to send a delegation with a single demand to the ‘Occupy Wall Street’ protestors encamped at Zuccotti Park, New York.

“Romney delegates will camp along side ‘Occupy Wall Street’ to make his message clear,” said a spokesman for Romney. “Only they will be doing it as protesters, instead of protestors.”

“My demand is a simple and a fair one,” said Mitt Romney at a press conference. “Let corporations join! They’re people too! Folks just like me and you.”

Mitt Romney vows that his delegation will remain in Zuccotti Park with the other protestors until they recognize corporations as people, as he does.

“Since Mitt Romney’s delegate consists of human beings,” said a spokesman for ‘Occupy Wall Street’. “We’re bound by our policy of inclusiveness to bring the matter before the general assembly for a vote.”

Unfortunately for Mitt Romney, the ‘Occupy Wall Street’ general assembly reached a consensus not to allow corporations to join their movement.

The Romney delegation then voted to disband and join in with ‘Occupy Wall Street’.

Even becoming the most vocal members of the People’s Mic [microphone] -- A process of repeating the spoken word of a human being through people’s voices without the assistance of electric or other artificial amplification.


“Wow!” Mitt Romney reacted upon hearing the rejection of his demand voiced by the People’s Mic, consisting of members of his former delegation. “Now that’s irony even I can appreciate.”

Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Zuccotti Park’s Homeless Evicted by ‘Occupy Wall Street’

New York, New York –

A group of homeless people from Zuccotti Park (ground zero of the ‘Occupy Wall Street’ movement) showed up at a New York City police precinct today, demanding justice.

“They said they wanted us to arrest the protestors in Zuccotti Park for illegally evicting them from their home,” said police.

“I miss my bench!” read one of the signs held up by the homeless.

“Who’s feeding the pigeons?” read another.

“Who’s watering the gardenias?” read still another.

Turned away by police, the homeless decided to take matters into their own hands, holding a general assembly of their own. After a few minutes, they came to a consensus.

Standing on the sidewalk opposite Zuccotti Park, the homeless marched in a demonstration of their very own. Holding up signs which read: “Occupy, Occupy Wall Street Now!”

Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.