Showing posts with label Basketball. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Basketball. Show all posts

Covid-19 Joke #3

No football! No basketball! No baseball!
Oh, my!
By Robert W. Armijo



This covid-19 virus has really taken a turn for the worse. ESPN just announced it's merging with The History Channel. 







Copyright (c) 2020 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.


NBPA Calls Off “Blackout” Boycott of Donald Sterling’s L.A. Clippers

 California, Los Angeles –

After the NBA’s owners' commissioner, Adam Silver concluded his press conference where he announced sanctions against L.A. Clippers owner Donald Sterling for his racist rant, which included a lifetime ban from the game and $2.5 million fine, the National Basketball Players Association (NBPA) held one of their own, which they called off any planned boycotts. 

“If you really want to boycott Donald Sterling, you’ll attended all the games of the basketball team he owns,” said a spokesman for the NBPA. “In fact, if you really want your protest to be heard, you will buy up any unsold season tickets too.”

The NBPA asks that the fans focus on the game and that anything less would be counter productive and more importantly not profitable.  

The players association even went so far as to call off the most passive of planned protest called the “Blackout” boycott, which asked Clippers' fans attending the games to wear black tee-shirts over their Clippers' jerseys.

“If the fans wear a black tee-shirt over the team jersey, how will the network TV camera’s see the Clippers' logo?” asked the NBPA.  “Don’t hate the player. And don’t be hating the game either.” 


The NBPA calls for fans to lend their support in this time of crisis by purchasing all L.A. Clippers related merchandise. 


“And I’m not just talking about Clippers team jerseys neither,” said the players association. “I mean the coffee mugs, calendars, tote bags, rings, watches…everything!”

Copyright © 2008-2014 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Photo Courtesy of:
wpclipart.com

Mitt Romney’s Really, Really Bad Big Bird Joke #5






Q: You know why Big Bird never joined the NBA, despite being over eight feet tall?

A: Because instead of trying to make a basket, he kept trying to make a birdie.






Copyright © 2008-2012 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved. 

Photo Courtesy of: 
wpclipart,com


Mitt Romney’s Really, Really Bad Big Bird Joke #4






Q: You know why Big Bird never joined the NBA, despite being over eight feet tall?






A: Because he likes traveling...south for the winter.


Copyright © 2008-2012 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved. 

Photo Courtesy of:

Mitt Romney’s Really, Really Bad Big Bird Joke #3






Q: You know why Big Bird ingests all his food intravenously?






A: Because he doesn’t like to swallow.



Copyright © 2008-2012 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved. 

Photo Courtesy of:

Mitt Romney’s Really, Really Bad Big Bird Joke #2






Q: You know why Big Bird never joined the NBA, despite being over eight feet tall?






A: Because during halftime he kept nesting in the basketball nets.


Copyright © 2008-2012 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved. 

Photo Courtesy of:
wpclipart.com

Mitt Romney’s Really, Really Bad Big Bird Joke #1




Q: You know why Big Bird never joined the NBA, despite being over eight feet tall? 









A: Because every time he got the ball he sat on it, trying to hatch it. 


Copyright © 2008-2012 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved. 

Photo Courtesy of:

L.A. Kings Stanley Cup Winners Joke


Congratulations to the L.A. Kings not only for winning the Stanley Cup, but also for respecting their fans by keeping their victory parade under 55 miles an hour (unlike the L.A. Lakers). And Keeping the violence on the ice and out of the stands (unlike the L.A. Dodgers).



Copyright © 2008-2012 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Photo Courtesy of:

wpclipart.com

Obama Adjusts 2011 NCAA Bracket to Favor East Coast Teams Due to Pending West Coast Nuclear Contamination


Washington, D.C. --

After getting off the phone with the Prime Minister of Japan, Naoto Kan, President Barack Obama immediately called up ESPN advising them that he was adjusting his bracket for the 2011 March Madness NCAA Tournament. Citing shifting weather patterns over the Pacific Ocean, hastening the approaching nuclear death plume off the West Coast headed inland, the president begged ESPN for another interview, but they denied him.

"Listen to me. This is very serious," Obama pleaded on the phone with ESPN. "You can’t hold me responsible for yesterday’s hoop picks. I had no idea how grave the situation was for the West Coast teams."

The President argued that given how West Coast teams rely so heavily on their slam-dunks, he did not think any of the players would be able to win. Let alone survive the impending radioactive death plume.

"Hang time could be a death sentence," said an emotional Obama, as he fell to his knees in the Oval Office.

However, ESPN refused to reconsider the president's request and said his bracket stands as is.

"If Obama wants to change his predictions, he'll have to take it up in an address to the nation," said a spokesman for ESPN.

ESPN also cited that their coverage of all sporting events had been preempted to carry live coverage of the nuclear disaster in Japan and the tracking of the nuclear death plume headed for the United States.

"We maybe sport journalist," said a spokesman for ESPN. "But we're journalists first."

Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

John Boehner Calling Obama “Lip [Service] Gate” Reason Enough to Hold Congressional Hearings -- Possible Impeachment Proceedings Begin?


"What? Me worry? I'll
compromise my way out
of this one, like always.
But what about you?"
 
Washington, D.C. --

Speaking as the incoming Speaker of the House and on behalf of his fellow Republicans and Blue Dog Democrats, John Boehner stood before a press conference today. Crying out for a Congressional Hearing into what he is calling “Lip Gate” to investigate how Barack Obama received an injury requiring 12 stitches to his lip during a basketball game last Friday. Even demanding that he voluntarily steps down now or face impeachment proceeding to force him from the Office as the duly elected President of the United States of America.

“I want to assure the country that this Congressional Hearing will be conducted in accordance with the rule of law and will not be turned into a witch hunt for personal or political party gain,” said Boehner.

However, used for the purpose for which it was intended, as a legitimate probe into a possible impeachment proceeding, according to Boehner.

“After all," Boehner continued. "It’s important for the American people to know in a time of crisis such as this when their leader suffers a life threatening injury, under what can only be described as suspicious circumstances at best, that we politicians know when its time to put away petty partisanship. And stand united behind their president. Therefore, I am demanding that since Obama is not a U.S. citizen but a Kenyan, that the Department of Justice charges the alleged assailant with assault on a foreign dignitary. And do so without delay. Let us not forget that we are a nation of laws, not just men. And justice delayed, is justice denied.”

Boehner then expressed concern over the president’s state of mental health, suggesting the injuries were more extensive then first reported.

“You know, in order to get 12 stitches, Obama must have sustained a tremendous amount for blunt force trauma to his head,” said Boehner. “Enough even to generate a concussion, I bet. Therefore, I have also asked the Surgeon General to declare Obama unfit to serve in office, pending a full medical examination of the president to assure the nation that he’s still physically and mentally capable of leading our Republic.”

Meanwhile, in a totally unrelated issue, while awaiting action on behalf of the Department of Justice and the office of the Surgeon General, Boehner managed to reinstate the ‘Death Panel’ provision back into the ‘Obama Health-Care’ legislation, during a rare midnight emergency secession of the so-called lame duck Congress.

“Death Panel’ is such an awful sounding phrase to describe a ‘Death Panel’ here folks,” said Boehner into the Congressional record. “So what do you say we use a more euphemistic term instead. Something more upbeat like, ‘Health Insurance Medical Review and Final Appeals Board’, okay?”

Boehner then concluded his second press conference as incoming Speaker of the House in which he managed not to shed a tear, although he did seem to be getting a little verklempt toward the end.

“I, umm,” said Boehner hesitating for a moment, sniffling overheard between pregnant pauses. “I, umm, want to…thank…y’all for coming today. That’s all. I just wanted to say…thanks.”

Copyright © 2010 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.