High ‘Shcool’ Diploma Misspelling Known by Administrators All Along

"Look, Mom! Look, Dad!
I'm a high shcool graduate!"

By Robert W. Armijo

Administrators admit they knew about the misspelling of ‘shcool’ printed on graduation diplomas in advance of the high school’s commencement ceremony, but they did not take any action to correct it. 

“We simply didn’t think anyone would notice,” said a school administrator. “In fact, we’re surprised anyone did.”

Students themselves admit they did not notice the mistake until after accepting the misspelled diplomas, having posed for pictures with friends, family or even by themselves and then uploading them online.

“I didn’t know school was misspelled on my diploma until after I took a selfie with it and posted it on Facebook,” said Patricia, a recent high ‘shcool’ graduate. 

Patrica's followers tweeted her back ‘LOL’.

"I got over a thousand likes," said Patrica.

Are modern day shcool administrators ushering
 in the extinction of the American spelling bee?
School administrators have offered to replace any misspelled diplomas with a corrected version. 

However, they have yet to receive a single request.

“What did I tell you?” said a school administrator.    

Many educators believe the resulting illiteracy is due to many school districts having dropped spelling and cursive writing from their curriculum, while others are blaming the death of the American spelling bee on colony collapse. 






 
Copyright © 2016 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Photo(s) Courtesy of:
wpclipart.com

Brazil Officially Changes Its Olympic 2016 Mascot to the Zika Virus


"Ciao, Zika! Welcomes You to Rio!
Feel Free to Take a Little Bit of Me...
...I Mean...Brazil Back Home with You."
- Rio, Brazil

By Robert W. Armijo

Brazil has decided to co-opt (own the fact) that it is officially the ground zero for the Zika virus, which causes birth defects in pregnant woman and can live in the male scrotum for weeks after it is undetectable in the blood stream. 

Brazilian Olympic officials believe that in dropping its current mascot Vinicius (a hypoallergenic cat) for Zika (a deadly virus) as its new official 2016 Olympic mascot that they will be able to defuse the building international concern and tension of a pandemic outbreak going deadly virus species ending like in the movie ''Children of Men' kind of going global; and thereby ending the international call for a boycott of the games. 
"WTF"?!

“Just think of Zika as having more tentacles…um, I mean arms to hug you with,” said a Brazilian Olympic official. “So please, feel free to embrace it.”
No need to to worry about Vinicius,
because after personally congratulating Zika
as his replacement, he got a gig driving for Uber. 




















Copyright © 2016 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Photo(s) Courtesy of:
wpclipart.com

Dennis Miller Performs a Neoconservative Version of ‘The Aristocrats’ at Comedy Clubs Across the Nation


"I simply deplore our class
being reduced to a punchline."
By Robert W. Armijo

The following is a transcript of new stand-up comedy material  that Dennis Miller is testing at various comedy clubs across the nation, possibly in preparation for the upcoming (Post Obama) 2016 presidential election. 

It is a snap shot taken of his neoconservative politics, which he willingly serves as a court jester and icon to the clearly under represented conservative comedy movement that he has recently currently come to represent. 

So, unlike the liberal version of ‘The Aristocrats’, which involves a heterosexual nuclear family unit, engaging in morally deplorable and unlawful acts of incest, rape and bestiality. 

Miller’s version of 'The Aristocrats' involves all that as well ,only he uses a homosexual nuclear family unit instead.

Warning! It is strongly advised that you click the link ‘The Aristocrats’ before proceeding to see if you can stomach this very blue type of comedy or free speech.   

Begin transcript:

------ 

So this guy walks into a talent agency and says, Do I got an act for you.

I’m sorry with the passage of same sex marriage, legalization of marijuana and now transgender bathroom stalls, I’m only accepting family acts. You know, to deal with all the blowback. 

But this is a family act. 

Okay, you got my attention. What do you got?

Well, it starts like this. Two gay men walk onto the stage completely nude and holding hands. 

Hold it right there, buddy. Two gay men? I thought you said it was a family act?

It is. It’s modern family act. 

Yeah, but --

But what?

Well, it’s just that I don’t what to be accused of being homophobic.

Don’t worry. You won’t. Trust me, it’s a classy act.

Okay, go on. I guess.

So, while the gay guy on the floor is getting tea bagged by the other gay man, two teenage boys walk on stage just like their gay fathers.

Hold it. 

Yeah.

Are they naked too? 

Yup. 

Holding hands?

Yup.

And they’re related to the two gay men?

Yup.

Okay, let me save us both sometime here. Let me guess. The two gay men end up having sex with the two teenage boys in every disgusting and illegal manner possible. Right? 

Right.

Now, I’m a little confused here.

About what?

Well, it’s just that earlier you said the act was classy. How is it classy for two adult men to rape two teenage boys? Their sons, no less.

Oh, that. They’re not related to the teenage boys by blood. You see, they’re adopted. 

Oh, I see. And let me guess, you call your act The Aristocrats, right?

Nope.

No?! What then?!

The Democrats!!!

---

End transcript.

Copyright © 2016 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Photo(s) Courtesy of:
wpclipart.com

Did You Hear ‘The Talk’ TV Talk Show Has a New Spin-Off Aimed at Prepubescent Girls?

Still funny with 'all-male' producers
removed or still just sexists?

By Robert W. Armijo

Yeah, and they are calling it, ‘The Preview’ ripping off their daytime TV talk show competitor, ‘The View’ in the process. 

The only trouble is that the all-male The Preview’ TV show’s producers are concerned it will be a little too successful at attracting the wrong element of society, as well as your run-of-the-mill perverts, sexual predators, and child molesters.

However, unlike ‘The View’, where women get kicked off or “leave” the TV show for being menopausal or too old, girls on ‘The Preview’ will only be kicked off their show when they get a pimple or become pubescent.

Vote (right sidebar, scroll down) if you think this story is sexists or just funny.

Copyright © 2016 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Photo(s) Courtesy of:
wpclipart.com

‘The View’ or 'The Talk’, Which of the Two Daytime TV Talk Shows is the Most Racially Diverse?

Which TV talk show do you think is the most racially diverse,
'The View' Or 'The Talk'?

By Robert W. Armijo

It’s a tie, because both ‘The View’ and ‘The Talk’ have at least one token white woman in the cast at any given time. 












Vote for the TV show you think is most racially diverse in the funfakenews.com's polling section (Right sidebar, scroll down)


Copyright © 2016 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Photo(s) Courtesy of:
wpclipart.com

Top 10 Things People Thought O.J. Simpson Whispered into Robert Shapiro’s Ear After the Verdict

Oops, Wrong Simpson. Sorry.
By Robert W. Armijo

10) Suckers.

9) Knock, Knock. Who’s there? O.J. Simpson, Bitch! 

8) If I’m innocent like they say, then why do I still feel so damn guilty? 

7) What took them so damn long, don’t they know I got a noon tee time?

6) I feel like I just got away with a double murder homicide or something like that.

5) Now that’s not guilty for both Ronald and Nicole, right?

4) Do you think I can return those gloves without a receipt?

3) I wish Nicole was here to hear this…Oh, yeah. Right. Never mind. 

2) After this, I’m going to Disneyland.

1) I just got this great idea for a book.

Vote for Your Favorite Checkout funfakenews.com’s Polling Section (Scroll Down Right Sidebar).


Copyright © 2016 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Photo(s) Courtesy of:
wpclipart.com