Showing posts with label homeless. Show all posts
Showing posts with label homeless. Show all posts

Big Tech Stocks Fall as Increasing New Houseless (A.K.A. Homeless) Have Trouble Hooking Up Wi-Fi to Freeway Underpass Sidewalk Street Tents



Copyright © 2022 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Hungry Muppet Starts “Occupy Sesame Street”

Sesame Street --

Lily, Sesame Street’s newest character that was introduced to the socially conscious children’s TV show this year to deal with the subject of food insecurity, has become radicalized by the “Occupy Wall Street” movement, intent on starting one of her own.

Early this morning, stagehands turned on the studio lights to find Lily (the so-called hungry Muppet) camped out on the cold floor of the Sesame Street set.

“She must have sneaked back into the studio sometime last night,” said a stagehand.

“Actually, I never left,” explained a reserved Lily from inside her tent as she counted the number of donated canned goods she has left to see her through the week. “I just hung around ‘til everybody left for home. I guess that’s one good thing about being poor. No body wants to see you.”

Taped to the outside of Lily’s tent is an official looking notice from the producers of the show, telling her she has a few days to fold up her tent and clear out.

“They say it’s for my own good,” said Lily. “Because of santa...santadiction [sanitation].”

“Oh really,” said Oscar the Grouch from his weathered garbage can. “So now they care about sanitation conditions?”

Oscar the Grouch is a longtime character on Sesame Street who has been living in a waste disposal unit for years. He fully supports Lily in her cause. And openly questions the reason producers are giving her for taking down her tent.

“I don’t know what all the fuss is about,” said Oscar the Grouch, sliding his trashcan lid to the side. “I’ve been living on Sesame Street in my own filth as long as I can remember. And no body has ever mentioned the word sanitation. Not even the letter ‘S’, let alone ever trying to evict me from here.”

“Maybe that’s because you’re so poor you’re invisible,” said Lily.

“Yeah,” said Oscar the Grouch, rubbing his chin as if he had an epiphany. “Yeah, I think you're right…Say, Lily, you got any room in your tent for me?”

“What?” replied Lily. “Are you kidding? Get out of here you filthy homeless bum.”

“Gee-whiz,” said Oscar the Grouch. “You don’t have to be so nasty about it. You act as if you had a hand stuck up your [BLEEP] or something.”

Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Homeless Striper Gets Kicked Out of Gentlemen’s Club

Hollywood, Florida –

A homeless woman was kicked out of a stripteases club when she took to the stage and began removing her tattered and urine stained clothing. “All the while she held up a cardboard sign that read, ‘Will Strip for Food,” said a patron.

At first no one suspected the woman was homeless, thinking that her ragged clothing and shopping cart was part of her act.

“I thought, ‘This is new,” said Paul Anderson. “A little sick, but I could get use to it.”

However, when the homeless woman stripped down to her underwear, exposing a g-string made out of rope, customers began to get suspicious.

“I never seen a g-string made out of rope before,” said Jamie Martinez. “I hate to admit it. But it was a little hot.”

The club manager eventually intervened, pulling the homeless woman off the stage along with her rope g-string full of dollar bills. But only after she attempted a sex act that is prohibited in all 50 states.

“How much to watch me make this bottle of beer disappear?” asked the homeless woman, just before she was escorted off stage and out of the club. “Wait, wait! What are you doing? I didn’t get a chance to pole dance yet.”

Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.