Showing posts with label food insecurity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label food insecurity. Show all posts

‘Hunger Games’ Boosts Cinema Concession Stand Sales

Hollywood, California –

Cinemas across the country are reporting record-breaking concession stand sales at theaters featuring the ‘Hunger Games’. The phenomenon was first noticed when sales for extra large size of popcorn took off before the flick was turned on.

“People usually buy a regular sized popcorn, which really in a small. And a best value sized soda, which really is a medium,” said Jeff, a concession stand worker “But ever since we started playing ‘Hunger Games’, we’ve been selling only the jumbo sized popcorn, which really is a medium. And a Bottomless Well sized soda, which really is just a large.”

It is believed that ‘Hunger Games’ moviegoers are being adversely impacted by food insecurity, a topic dealt with in the film.

“I guess watching Katniss fight for food so her district wouldn’t starve death made me appreciate free popcorn refills like never before,” said Jane, 16, a ‘Hunger Games’ fan. “I mean all have to do his fight my way through the concession stand line to get what I want and usually no body has to die. Usually.”

Ushers assigned to cleanup detail have noticed a change in consumer’s consumption as well.

“Surprisingly there’s less to pick up after the movie’s ended,” said John an usher.

Theater security cameras have recorded people seemingly picking up after themselves.

“They’re not so much picking up after themselves,” said a theater manager. “As they’re hoarding their leftovers.”

One manager, having tired of repeatedly turning down requests for Doggie Bags, has now placed a stack of them beside a condiment table.

“I have to replenish them several times throughout the day,” said the manager. “Twice during the matinee showing alone.”

Copyright © 2008-2012 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

‘The Hunger Games’ Politically Incorrect Joke #2

Q: Know where the next saga of the ‘Hunger Games’ movie trilogy will be filmed?

A: Hungary, of course.

Copyright © 2008-2012 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

‘The Hunger Games’ Politically Incorrect Joke #1

In The Hunger Games, the heroine, Katniss Everdeen, enters a deadly tournament for food, which she wins for her district.

In the politically incorrect alternate ending she wins as well. Except she chooses Chinese food and an hour later everybody in her district is hungry again. Oh well, back to the games.

Copyright © 2008-2012 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

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Hungry Muppet Starts “Occupy Sesame Street”

Sesame Street --

Lily, Sesame Street’s newest character that was introduced to the socially conscious children’s TV show this year to deal with the subject of food insecurity, has become radicalized by the “Occupy Wall Street” movement, intent on starting one of her own.

Early this morning, stagehands turned on the studio lights to find Lily (the so-called hungry Muppet) camped out on the cold floor of the Sesame Street set.

“She must have sneaked back into the studio sometime last night,” said a stagehand.

“Actually, I never left,” explained a reserved Lily from inside her tent as she counted the number of donated canned goods she has left to see her through the week. “I just hung around ‘til everybody left for home. I guess that’s one good thing about being poor. No body wants to see you.”

Taped to the outside of Lily’s tent is an official looking notice from the producers of the show, telling her she has a few days to fold up her tent and clear out.

“They say it’s for my own good,” said Lily. “Because of santa...santadiction [sanitation].”

“Oh really,” said Oscar the Grouch from his weathered garbage can. “So now they care about sanitation conditions?”

Oscar the Grouch is a longtime character on Sesame Street who has been living in a waste disposal unit for years. He fully supports Lily in her cause. And openly questions the reason producers are giving her for taking down her tent.

“I don’t know what all the fuss is about,” said Oscar the Grouch, sliding his trashcan lid to the side. “I’ve been living on Sesame Street in my own filth as long as I can remember. And no body has ever mentioned the word sanitation. Not even the letter ‘S’, let alone ever trying to evict me from here.”

“Maybe that’s because you’re so poor you’re invisible,” said Lily.

“Yeah,” said Oscar the Grouch, rubbing his chin as if he had an epiphany. “Yeah, I think you're right…Say, Lily, you got any room in your tent for me?”

“What?” replied Lily. “Are you kidding? Get out of here you filthy homeless bum.”

“Gee-whiz,” said Oscar the Grouch. “You don’t have to be so nasty about it. You act as if you had a hand stuck up your [BLEEP] or something.”

Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.