Showing posts with label Presidential Debate 2012. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Presidential Debate 2012. Show all posts

Obama Drinking Red Bull in Preparation for 2nd Presidential Debate?

"Yes, I'd like to Order Another Case of Red Bull."

Washington, D.C. –

Reportedly, President Obama has been preparing for the second round of the presidential debate with Mitt Romney by drinking cases of Red Bull. 

The distinct blue and silver delivery truck has even been sighted at the White House, backed up to the servant’s entrance of the kitchen. 

“They’ve been making deliveries here ever since the president lost the first debate,” confirmed a member of the White House kitchen staff.

Political pundits speculate that the president is responding to the criticism of his own campaign team that he appeared tired, listless and unfocused during the last debate.

“He can’t afford to look like that again without placing his candidacy in serious jeopardy,” said a political pundit. 

Judging by the number of empty Red Bull cans dumped in the White House recycling bin, however, the president may be overdoing it.

“If he drinks that much Red Bull on the night of the debate,” said an ardent energy drink drinker. “He’ll appear too edgy to look presidential.” 

Signs to look for include body twitches, facial ticks, sweating profusely, rapid heart rate and talking too fast.

Meanwhile, over at the Romney camp, it is rumored that they are preparing for Tuesday night’s debate by doing pre-celebratory victory body shots of tequila. 

Copyright © 2008-2012 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved. 

Big Bird Gets Medal of Honor for Distracting Nation from Final Results of First Presidential Debate 2016

Sesame Street –

In a secret ceremony held in the alleys and byways of Sesame Street, President Barack Obama issued our nation’s highest civilian honor to Big Bird.

It was for helping to distract the nation from his loss to presidential candidate, Mitt Romney back in 2012 

Critics accuse the president of abusing the powers of his office by posthumously bestowing such a prestigious award onto an undeserving persona, whether real or a fictional composite.

“The recent release of the under eight percent (-8%) unemployment figures by the Labor Dept. deserves just as much credit for distracting the nation for his loss in Colorado as Big Bird,” said a critic. 

Nevertheless, President Obama mounted a ladder with Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog looking on. 

As he bestowed our nation’s highest honor onto Big Bird neck, Miss Piggy was observed elbowing Kermit and overheard saying to him:

“Why don’t you surprise me and bring one of those home to me someday?" said Miss Piggy. “What do you say, huh? What’s the matter, frog? Cat got your tongue?”

Copyright © 2008-2012 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.