Funfakenews.com's New 50-Character Micro Blog Joke App for the Attention Span Impair…Oh, Never Mind

The following is an excerpt of an interview conducted with the managing editor of the funfakenews.com website concerning the roll-out of its new 50-character micro blog joke app for the attention span impaired.

The interview was quite comprehensive and informative, so we have edited it down for your consideration:

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Editor (E): Would you like to hear a sample of our new 50-character micro blog joke app for the attention span impaired?

Reporter (R): Sure.

E: Remember. it’s just the punch line to a joke. There’s no setup.

R: Why not the setup too? 

E: There’s just no room for it to fit into our new 50-character micro blog joke app for the attention span impaired.

R: So all people get is the punch line of the joke? 

E: Hopefully, yes. 

R: Why not write the setup to the joke too? 

E: What would be the point? There’s not enough room. 

R: So you never write the setups to joke punch lines you write?

E: We do. But just not to the same jokes.

R: Why not?

E: Not enough room.  

R: How are people suppose to laugh at a joke when they haven’t heard the setup?

E: Here at funfakenews.com we believe that people that have an attention span impairment disorder are actually people with a highly evolved sense of humor. Unlike the rest of us, they have adapted to abbreviated forms of human conversation. And as a result, they will pretty much laugh at any thing.

R: Do you think it will really work? 

E: Our new 50-character micro blog joke app for the attention span impaired is based on proven research. So it can’t miss.

R: Some say you based it on Twitter. Is that true?

E: Twitter and Facebook both. If people can be made to believe they’re having a meaningful conversation in 140-character or less. Or a meaningfully relationship like they believe they are having on Facebook. Then why shouldn’t people be able to adapt to laugh at just the punch line of an unrelated 50-character joke?

R: Are there any drawbacks?

E: Just the one.

R: What is it?

E: Well, as the name implies, our new 50-character micro blog joke app for the attention span impaired is only intended to work on the attention span impaired. 

R: So it doesn’t work on people with a normal attention span?

E: No. But those people can still enjoy regular jokes posted at funfakenews.com. Now, how about that joke using our new 50-character micro blog joke app for the attention span impaired? 

R: Is it just the punch line?

E: Of course.

R: Well, okay. I guess. Go ahead. 

E: … So the Rabbi says, “I said mohel! Not more oil!”

R: lol 

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Copyright © 2008-2014 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

‘Occupy Wall Street’ Started as a Flash Mob Mobile Phone TV Ad? But Will It End That Way Too?

New York, New York –

Forget what you heard about the socially conscious group ‘Adbusters’ giving birth to the ‘Occupy Wall Street’ movement.

As it turns out, the whole thing got started when a director making a TV commercial for a mobile phone company hired extras to play the role of a flash mob gathered on Wall Street.

“You may remember the first TV ad with a guy in New York’s Penn Station dancing all alone, because he didn’t get a text message in time,” said James Marcus, an on scene production assistant. “This commercial was the next installment in a series of a total of three TV ads.”

That was before ‘Occupy Wall Street’ protestors started showing up, mixing among the extras for the shoot.

In the original script, the second installment of the TV ad, the same man is playing catch up with the flash mob, only to find himself dancing all alone again.

However, the director tossed out the script when the ‘Occupy Wall Street’ protestors arrived.

“By the time we finished shooting the last scene,” said the production assistant. “We found ourselves surrounded by demonstrators.”

As a result of the protestors out numbering the extras, the director began re-shooting the TV commercial, incorporating the real protestors into the latest installment of the ad.

“This time,” continued the production assistant. “Instead of having the guy dancing alone on Wall Street, as originally called for in the script. Now, we’re going to have him come across the ‘Occupy Wall Street’ protestors.”

And with an extreme close-up on the man’s face, with a bewildered look on it, the audience hears a voiceover announcing: “Don’t let this happen to you.”

Now, the only trouble is the director and crew cannot find the guy in order to finish shooting the TV commercial.

“We think he may have joined the movement,” said the production assistant.


Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Lawless Londoners Observe ‘Anarchy in the U.K.’ by the ‘Sex Pistols’ on 35th Anniversary

London, England –

Much to the dissatisfaction of police and law-abiding citizens, rioting Londoners are extending their observation of “Anarchy in the U.K.” by the Sex Pistols on the 35th anniversary of the song’s original release date back in 1976.

“I don’t know about the rest of my mates,” emailed a London looter over his social network, while taking a break to make some more Molotov Cocktails out of empty plastic purified water bottles, sharing how-to photos of them over the Internet. “But I’m prepared to carry-on celebrating for a fortnight [two weeks].”

Apparently, the jubilant festivities took a turn for the worst when pictures taken with a camera phone of a wheelchair access ramp that lead down into a mosh pit at a ‘Sex Pistols Mania’ concert was cordoned off by security were posted on a Facebook account.

“It was after the dance floor was declared unsafe by the fire department for exceeding its maxim number of persons allowed limit,” stated a post on the concert hall’s webpage.

“We can’t be stopped,” texted another rioting Londoner, seconds before her Internet Service Provider (ISP) cut off her wireless service access to the web. “No one, or nothing can stop -- ”

Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Mubarak Takes a Slow Boat Out of Cairo

Cairo, Egypt --

70 Billion Dollars, 30-Years and at the Cost of Countless of Innocent Lives Later to Support a Dictatorship in Egypt.


All Lost in 18-Days to a Non-Violent Spontaneous Youth-Oriented Pro-Democracy Uprising Using Google, FaceBook and Twitter:

Priceless.

Copyright © 2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Jimmy Kimmel Declares War on Facebook! Cyber Body Causalities Begin to Mount!



What?! Not again!

 Hollywood, California --


Yesterday claimed another Facebook user, yet another victim of “National UnFriend Day”? Was it you? No? Well, of course not.

Well, imagine, nevertheless for a moment, that it was you. For after signing on to your Facebook account, you quickly discovered that you were among the causalities of Jimmy Kimmel’s late night vicious joke campaign.

All the while millions of others on Facebook continue to attempt to logon to their account to join innocently in what is unbeknownst to them has become a national feeding frenzy to be the first on their virtual block to do the unfriending, while a more vast, vast silent majority of others, fearing rejection, opt to unfriend themselves instead.

“They call the friendships we formed on Facebook and other cyberspace social networks artificial, synthetic and even impersonal,” said BlueAlex0193, while holding a computer keyboard up to his mouth, his index finger nervously hovering over the delete button. “And you know what? They’re right.”

Sadly, as police attempted to e-mail BlueAlex0193 to convince him to choose life, they were abruptly disconnected from his dialup service.

It is believed he suddenly depressed the delete key, attributed police, pending the release of the official autopsy report.

“Either that, or he tripped over the phone cord,” police said. “inadvertently choking himself to death, something that would have never happened if he had simply gone with a wireless connection.”

Copyright © 2010 by Robert W. Armijo