Jimmy Kimmel Declares War on Facebook! Cyber Body Causalities Begin to Mount!

What?! Not again!
 Hollywood, California --

Yesterday claimed another Facebook user, yet another victim of “National UnFriend Day”? Was it you? No? Well, of course not.

Well, imagine, nevertheless for a moment, that it was you. For after signing on to your Facebook account, you quickly discovered that you were among the causalities of Jimmy Kimmel’s late night vicious joke campaign.

All the while millions of others on Facebook continue to attempt to logon to their account to join innocently in what is unbeknownst to them has become a national feeding frenzy to be the first on their virtual block to do the unfriending, while a more vast, vast silent majority of others, fearing rejection, opt to unfriend themselves instead.

“They call the friendships we formed on Facebook and other cyberspace social networks artificial, synthetic and even impersonal,” said BlueAlex0193, while holding a computer keyboard up to his mouth, his index finger nervously hovering over the delete button. “And you know what? They’re right.”

Sadly, as police attempted to e-mail BlueAlex0193 to convince him to choose life, they were abruptly disconnected from his dialup service.

It is believed he suddenly depressed the delete key, attributed police, pending the release of the official autopsy report.

“Either that, or he tripped over the phone cord,” police said. “inadvertently choking himself to death, something that would have never happened if he had simply gone with a wireless connection.”

Copyright © 2010 by Robert W. Armijo

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