"Beverly Hills Cop" Called to Charlie Sheen’s House; Screams Reported

Beverly Hills, California –

A quiet suburb of Beverly Hills was suddenly awoken in the middle of the night by screams coming from Charlie Sheen’s house last night.

"We were all sound asleep," said Shirley Johnson, a neighbor who lives across the street from Charlie Sheen. "When we all heard Charlie scream out like he was dying or something."

Initially, everyone sat up in their beds, believing they were dreaming.

"I thought it was a nightmare," said another neighbor. "And I was right. Only it wasn’t me having the nightmare. It was Charlie."

According to the police incident report and 911 tapes, Charlie Sheen’s outbursts would occur intermittently in one-minute intervals with five-minute breaks in-between screams.

"Hold on a minute and you’ll hear it for yourself," said Mrs. Johnson to the 911 emergency operator, as she held her telephone outside her second story bedroom window.

A few seconds later came a bone-chilling scream: "Oh my God! I don’t have a job!"

"You see," said Mrs. Johnson to the 911 operator. "What did I tell you? You can set your watch to it."

Charlie Sheen’s screaming continued even after the police arrived.

"They were finally able to calmed him down by threatening to arrest him," said Mrs. Johnson. "Telling him that he was causing a disturbance."

"Mr. Sheen quickly regained his composure," said police. "So no arrest was necessary. In fact, he even yelled out an apology to his neighbors from his front lawn; waved goodbye to us before closing his door and shutting off his porch light."

Minutes later, Charlie Sheen’s sent out a text message to his fans: “OMG! i don’t have a J…O…B!”

Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

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