Showing posts with label Casey Anthony. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Casey Anthony. Show all posts

Casey Anthony Baptism Joke#2

Q: What did the church ladies whisper to each other when Casey Anthony got baptized in order to see her daughter Caylee in Heaven someday?

A: “Too bad mom will be going to the other place.”

Copyright © 2008-2012 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Photo Courtesy of:

Casey Anthony Baptism Joke#1

Q: What did the Reverend say to Casey Anthony when she sought his spiritual advice on getting baptized?

A: "Baptism? Don’t you mean exorcism?"

Copyright © 2008-2012 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Photo Courtesy of:

“Casey Anthony Naked” Growing Request on Search Engines

New York, New York –

Like the seductive Sirens that lowered Sinbad’s sailors into the volcano or a modern day version of “Girls Gone Wild” (but with rap sheets), Casey Anthony has cast her lucky charms spell on mankind like a plague. And like so many cheep plastic beads thrown by drunken men at inebriated women up onto the balconies of Bourbon St. during Mardi Gras, men type in “Casey Anthony Naked” into web search engines, hoping to get a glimpse of her milky white bare naked breasts, because she titillates them.

“I can’t help myself,” said Mark Anderson, 23, who like millions of males have been entering “Casey Anthony Naked” in every web search engines he knows. “I just got to see what she looks like naked.”

Psychologists say it is a natural reaction for men of any age to want to see a beautiful young woman in the prime of her reproductive cycle naked.

“In fact, it wouldn’t be normal for any man not to want to see Casey Anthony naked,” said Professor of Psychiatry, Albert Haukins. “But to tap that young [BLEEP] too.”

Professor Haukins went on to say that Casey Anthony has made herself even more attractive to men by going into hiding.

“Men are basically predators at heart,” said Professor Haukins as he sat in a lobby at LaGuardia Int’l Airport waiting for his flight.

According to Professor Haukins, Casey Anthony’s going into hiding, immediately after her release from jail as she did has aroused the primitive beast that lurks within.

“Men want to track her! Stalk her! Posse her!” said Professor Haukins.

Professor Haukins quickly pointed out that he was merely speaking figuratively. And that his statements should neither be interpreted or be taken as an endorsement condoning such actions.

“Of course, such [stalking] behavior is not tolerated in our modern society. It has been rendered unlawful and rightly so,” said Professor Haukins as he took his place in line, preparing to board his flight.

Professor Haukins claims that such urges to stalk are just as easily satisfied voyeuristically through the media and the Internet.

“As I often tell my incarcerated patients,” said Professor Haukins. “Why do the walking (or the time), when you can let the media do the stalking?"

So, men satisfy their primal urges by watching Casey Anthony’s every move reported in the media.

“After all, with a women like that you can’t turn your back on for a second,” said Professor Haukins. “For if you do, she might eat your young. Figuratively speaking, of course.”

Which Professor Haukins says is another complex component to the phenomena of Casey Anthony’s attraction.

Scientifically speaking, stalking is outward manifestation of every male’s biological need to mate with a female in order to ensure his immortality.

“Sure! Why not, if the conditions are right!” said Professor Haukins. “Why should it be any different with Casey Anthony? What’s in the past is in the past. Besides if you trust a Florida jury, nothing happened, right?”

Professor Haukins advises anyone planing to have children with Casey Anthony in the future, however, to try going for twins. That way your chances to successfully pass on your genes into the environment and remain there are increased by one half.

“Tell me what man doesn’t like a challenge?” Professor Haukins philosophized as he concluded the interview. “Trust me, Casey Anthony is not only the type of woman that will keep a man on his toes, but the type that will have him sleeping with one eye open! Search for naked pictures of her on the web all you want, but stay away from her and women like her. They'll only break your heart…by hurting the one’s you love the most.”

As Professor Haukins cleared the boarding gate an announcement came over the airport’s public address system, just as he paused, turned and gave a thumbs up.

“Final boarding call for flight 109. Non-stop directly to Columbus, Ohio,” said the announcer.

Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Casey Anthony Murder Trial Juror Believes Caylee is Still Alive!

Miami, Florida --

“It’s not a murder if the prosecutor can’t establish how and why the alleged victim was supposedly killed,” said an unidentified juror in the Casey Anthony murder trial, who asked to be called “Gracie”. “After all, I never saw the body. Just a bunch of crime scene photos of bleached bones, mangled bloodstained matted hair, duct tape and so-called DNA.”

Furthermore, the unidentified juror did not buy the defense attorney’s drowning theory either and believes instead that little Caylee Anthony is still alive.

“Caylee didn’t drown in the family swimming pool,” said Gracie. “That’s ridiculous. She’s probably still out there, playing hide and seek in the woods.”

The unidentified juror went on to say that any day now Caylee will come home to her mother, Casey.

“And we’ll all feel pretty stupid then,” said Gracie. “Imagine all the trouble we put that poor young woman through. In fact, I’m going straight home and bake a cake for her and beg for her forgiveness. We all should. We owe at least that much to her.”

The unidentified juror says that then she is taking the cake over to Casey Anthony’s house.

“That way when Casey is released from jail, she can finally have her cake and eat it too,” said Gracie.

The unidentified juror expressed a hope for being there for little Caylee’s homecoming. To witness firsthand for herself, justice finally served.

“I wouldn’t blame Casey one bit if she beat little Caylee within an inch of her life for staying out so late,” said Gracie. “And for so long, too.”

Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Casey Anthony Sentenced to Do PSA Spot on Pool Safety Tips for Kids

South Beach, Florida –

As a condition of her early release, the judge presiding over the Casey Anthony murder trial has ordered the once suspected child killer (now recently acquitted) to make a public service announcement (PSA) warning of the dangers of home pool drowning.

“A PSA is the very least my client can do for the smallest of drowning victims and their surviving parents,” said Casey Anthony’s defense attorney who successfully presented to the jury the drowning/cover-up theory that ultimately bought his client’s freedom, avoiding the death penalty in the process.

Escorted by prison guards to a local public pool, Casey Anthony makes her appearance in the PSA wearing a bright orange sting bikini made from a correction’s facility inmate uniform.

“Never attempt to accuse the victim of drowning herself,” said Casey Anthony as she walked up to the edge of the pool, while tying her hair back in a bun. “I mean never attempt to rescue the victim yourself. Look around for some help, or accomplices, first.”

“Once you have safely pulled the drowning victim from out of the water using a lifesaver, or chloroform,” continued Casey Anthony as she placed the unconscious “body” poolside. “Be careful not to leave any DNA, finger prints or other forensic evidence behind.”

Casey Anthony then knelt down near the dummy, appearing as if she was preparing to administer CPR to it.

“Also, never apply duct tape to a drowning victim’s mouth, wrapping it tightly around the head like this,” said Casey Anthony, while demonstrating. “It restricts or can even prevent breathing.”

“Finally,” says Casey Anthony as she concludes her PSA by throwing the dummy into the trunk of her car. “Never ever transport the body in your car and dump it [in the] woods near your parent’s house. Someone could find it there later, before you get the chance to move it -- I mean take it to the hospital. Well, that’s all the tips I have for a happy, healthy and safe summer!”

Casey Anthony then waves good-bye to the camera.

“Oh,” adds Casey Anthony at the last minute. “I almost forgot. Be sure to establish an airtight alibi right after your ‘water rescue attempt’ by partying in front as many people as you can. It might not always work, but as you can see, it sure can’t hurt any either. See you real soon. Bye-bye, y'all.”

Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

New “Caylee” Law Seeks Justice for Future Missing, Exploited and Murdered Children

Miami, Florida --

In light of the unpopular jury verdict that found accused child killer, Casey Anthony, not guilty of murder; or even guilty of the lesser charge of manslayer of her 2-year-old daughter, Caylee, a group of legislators have come together to introduce a bill designed to protect children in the future from suffering the same, or similar, fate at the hands of their unfit parents.

Unless the child has drowned accidentally in the family pool and the body disposed of in a manner consistent with a homicide. And then you went out and partied, got a tattoo saying, ‘Life is Beautiful’ and repeatedly lied regarding the whereabouts of your so-called ‘missing’ child for 31 days because you were so distrait to report the incident to authorities, you will face felony charges,” promised the Florida state legislator.

Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.