New York, New York –
Like the seductive Sirens that lowered Sinbad’s sailors into the volcano or a modern day version of “Girls Gone Wild” (but with rap sheets), Casey Anthony has cast her lucky charms spell on mankind like a plague. And like so many cheep plastic beads thrown by drunken men at inebriated women up onto the balconies of Bourbon St. during Mardi Gras, men type in “Casey Anthony Naked” into web search engines, hoping to get a glimpse of her milky white bare naked breasts, because she titillates them.
“I can’t help myself,” said Mark Anderson, 23, who like millions of males have been entering “Casey Anthony Naked” in every web search engines he knows. “I just got to see what she looks like naked.”
Psychologists say it is a natural reaction for men of any age to want to see a beautiful young woman in the prime of her reproductive cycle naked.
“In fact, it wouldn’t be normal for any man not to want to see Casey Anthony naked,” said Professor of Psychiatry, Albert Haukins. “But to tap that young [BLEEP] too.”
Professor Haukins went on to say that Casey Anthony has made herself even more attractive to men by going into hiding.
“Men are basically predators at heart,” said Professor Haukins as he sat in a lobby at LaGuardia Int’l Airport waiting for his flight.
According to Professor Haukins, Casey Anthony’s going into hiding, immediately after her release from jail as she did has aroused the primitive beast that lurks within.
“Men want to track her! Stalk her! Posse her!” said Professor Haukins.
Professor Haukins quickly pointed out that he was merely speaking figuratively. And that his statements should neither be interpreted or be taken as an endorsement condoning such actions.
“Of course, such [stalking] behavior is not tolerated in our modern society. It has been rendered unlawful and rightly so,” said Professor Haukins as he took his place in line, preparing to board his flight.
Professor Haukins claims that such urges to stalk are just as easily satisfied voyeuristically through the media and the Internet.
“As I often tell my incarcerated patients,” said Professor Haukins. “Why do the walking (or the time), when you can let the media do the stalking?"
So, men satisfy their primal urges by watching Casey Anthony’s every move reported in the media.
“After all, with a women like that you can’t turn your back on for a second,” said Professor Haukins. “For if you do, she might eat your young. Figuratively speaking, of course.”
Which Professor Haukins says is another complex component to the phenomena of Casey Anthony’s attraction.
Scientifically speaking, stalking is outward manifestation of every male’s biological need to mate with a female in order to ensure his immortality.
“Sure! Why not, if the conditions are right!” said Professor Haukins. “Why should it be any different with Casey Anthony? What’s in the past is in the past. Besides if you trust a Florida jury, nothing happened, right?”
Professor Haukins advises anyone planing to have children with Casey Anthony in the future, however, to try going for twins. That way your chances to successfully pass on your genes into the environment and remain there are increased by one half.
“Tell me what man doesn’t like a challenge?” Professor Haukins philosophized as he concluded the interview. “Trust me, Casey Anthony is not only the type of woman that will keep a man on his toes, but the type that will have him sleeping with one eye open! Search for naked pictures of her on the web all you want, but stay away from her and women like her. They'll only break your heart…by hurting the one’s you love the most.”
As Professor Haukins cleared the boarding gate an announcement came over the airport’s public address system, just as he paused, turned and gave a thumbs up.
“Final boarding call for flight 109. Non-stop directly to Columbus, Ohio,” said the announcer.
Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.
