Casey Anthony Sentenced to Do PSA Spot on Pool Safety Tips for Kids

South Beach, Florida –

As a condition of her early release, the judge presiding over the Casey Anthony murder trial has ordered the once suspected child killer (now recently acquitted) to make a public service announcement (PSA) warning of the dangers of home pool drowning.

“A PSA is the very least my client can do for the smallest of drowning victims and their surviving parents,” said Casey Anthony’s defense attorney who successfully presented to the jury the drowning/cover-up theory that ultimately bought his client’s freedom, avoiding the death penalty in the process.

Escorted by prison guards to a local public pool, Casey Anthony makes her appearance in the PSA wearing a bright orange sting bikini made from a correction’s facility inmate uniform.

“Never attempt to accuse the victim of drowning herself,” said Casey Anthony as she walked up to the edge of the pool, while tying her hair back in a bun. “I mean never attempt to rescue the victim yourself. Look around for some help, or accomplices, first.”

“Once you have safely pulled the drowning victim from out of the water using a lifesaver, or chloroform,” continued Casey Anthony as she placed the unconscious “body” poolside. “Be careful not to leave any DNA, finger prints or other forensic evidence behind.”

Casey Anthony then knelt down near the dummy, appearing as if she was preparing to administer CPR to it.

“Also, never apply duct tape to a drowning victim’s mouth, wrapping it tightly around the head like this,” said Casey Anthony, while demonstrating. “It restricts or can even prevent breathing.”

“Finally,” says Casey Anthony as she concludes her PSA by throwing the dummy into the trunk of her car. “Never ever transport the body in your car and dump it [in the] woods near your parent’s house. Someone could find it there later, before you get the chance to move it -- I mean take it to the hospital. Well, that’s all the tips I have for a happy, healthy and safe summer!”

Casey Anthony then waves good-bye to the camera.

“Oh,” adds Casey Anthony at the last minute. “I almost forgot. Be sure to establish an airtight alibi right after your ‘water rescue attempt’ by partying in front as many people as you can. It might not always work, but as you can see, it sure can’t hurt any either. See you real soon. Bye-bye, y'all.”

Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

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