Casey Anthony Murder Trial Juror Believes Caylee is Still Alive!

Miami, Florida --

“It’s not a murder if the prosecutor can’t establish how and why the alleged victim was supposedly killed,” said an unidentified juror in the Casey Anthony murder trial, who asked to be called “Gracie”. “After all, I never saw the body. Just a bunch of crime scene photos of bleached bones, mangled bloodstained matted hair, duct tape and so-called DNA.”

Furthermore, the unidentified juror did not buy the defense attorney’s drowning theory either and believes instead that little Caylee Anthony is still alive.

“Caylee didn’t drown in the family swimming pool,” said Gracie. “That’s ridiculous. She’s probably still out there, playing hide and seek in the woods.”

The unidentified juror went on to say that any day now Caylee will come home to her mother, Casey.

“And we’ll all feel pretty stupid then,” said Gracie. “Imagine all the trouble we put that poor young woman through. In fact, I’m going straight home and bake a cake for her and beg for her forgiveness. We all should. We owe at least that much to her.”

The unidentified juror says that then she is taking the cake over to Casey Anthony’s house.

“That way when Casey is released from jail, she can finally have her cake and eat it too,” said Gracie.

The unidentified juror expressed a hope for being there for little Caylee’s homecoming. To witness firsthand for herself, justice finally served.

“I wouldn’t blame Casey one bit if she beat little Caylee within an inch of her life for staying out so late,” said Gracie. “And for so long, too.”

Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Casey Anthony Sentenced to Do PSA Spot on Pool Safety Tips for Kids

South Beach, Florida –

As a condition of her early release, the judge presiding over the Casey Anthony murder trial has ordered the once suspected child killer (now recently acquitted) to make a public service announcement (PSA) warning of the dangers of home pool drowning.

“A PSA is the very least my client can do for the smallest of drowning victims and their surviving parents,” said Casey Anthony’s defense attorney who successfully presented to the jury the drowning/cover-up theory that ultimately bought his client’s freedom, avoiding the death penalty in the process.

Escorted by prison guards to a local public pool, Casey Anthony makes her appearance in the PSA wearing a bright orange sting bikini made from a correction’s facility inmate uniform.

“Never attempt to accuse the victim of drowning herself,” said Casey Anthony as she walked up to the edge of the pool, while tying her hair back in a bun. “I mean never attempt to rescue the victim yourself. Look around for some help, or accomplices, first.”

“Once you have safely pulled the drowning victim from out of the water using a lifesaver, or chloroform,” continued Casey Anthony as she placed the unconscious “body” poolside. “Be careful not to leave any DNA, finger prints or other forensic evidence behind.”

Casey Anthony then knelt down near the dummy, appearing as if she was preparing to administer CPR to it.

“Also, never apply duct tape to a drowning victim’s mouth, wrapping it tightly around the head like this,” said Casey Anthony, while demonstrating. “It restricts or can even prevent breathing.”

“Finally,” says Casey Anthony as she concludes her PSA by throwing the dummy into the trunk of her car. “Never ever transport the body in your car and dump it [in the] woods near your parent’s house. Someone could find it there later, before you get the chance to move it -- I mean take it to the hospital. Well, that’s all the tips I have for a happy, healthy and safe summer!”

Casey Anthony then waves good-bye to the camera.

“Oh,” adds Casey Anthony at the last minute. “I almost forgot. Be sure to establish an airtight alibi right after your ‘water rescue attempt’ by partying in front as many people as you can. It might not always work, but as you can see, it sure can’t hurt any either. See you real soon. Bye-bye, y'all.”

Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.