Tiger Woods Finally Picks Up New Sponsor: ‘What Happens Here, Stays Here’ Las Vegas Ad

Las Vegas, Nevada --

The rumor is that Tiger Woods has just finished shooting a commercial of him as the new spokesman for the famous ‘What Happens Here, Stays Here’ ads for Las Vegas. Reportedly, he took the job on the advice of his business manager not so much for the money, but in an attempt to stem the stampede of advertisers running out the front door.

“He had to take the gig,” said Tiger Woods’ business manager. “His established sponsors are leaving him like rats a sinking ship. Hopefully when they see that other reputable advertisers are willing to take their place, maybe they’ll change their minds and won’t leave.”

According to the director, who shot the 10-second spot that will begin airing Christmas Eve, the commercial was tastefully done.

“We were deliberate in our decision to be very considerate of Tiger Woods’ delicate situation,” said the director. “Careful not exploit the news of his infidelity, or tarnish the wholesome family values image of Las Vegas.”

Still photography of the commercial has Tiger Woods bare-chested riding on the back of an albino Siberian tiger towing a row of topless Las Vegas show girls on the end of a golden chain.

The caption above his head reading: “If I Would Have Done This in Las Vegas, You Probably Wouldn’t Be Seeing This Ad Right Now.”

Copyright © 2008-9 by Robert W. Armijo