LHC Physicist at CERN Denies Responsibility for “Giant Swirly Thingy” Over Norwegian Sky

Geneva, Switzerland --

“What? We didn’t do it,” said a particle physicist from the European Organization for Nuclear Research (CERN) before he was even asked a question by a small conclave of approaching reporters that tracked him down as he was preparing to leave his home with his family and all of their belongings that could fit into their European style subcompact car. “You know, not all inexplicable astrological phenomena A.K.A. the ‘Giant Swirly Thingy’ can be blamed on the LHC experiment at CERN. Besides, according to ‘String’ theory this was eventually going to happen anyways. It was just a matter of time...Time!”

Then reaching into the back seat of the car, grabbing a book out of the hands of his young daughter, the CERN physicist said to her. “Give me that roadmap.”

“But daddy,” protested the physicist’s daughter. “That’s no roadmap. That’s my ‘Alice in Wonderland’ book.”

“Not where we’re headed honey,” said the CERN physicist as he drove off to an undisclosed location where top ranking government officials, members of the military and his colleagues have been secretly building a microcosmic fleet of trans-dimensional inner space craft, capable of escaping this timeline should the Universe implode into itself; reduced to the size no larger than a snow pea. “It’s a roadmap to the future!”

Copyright © 2008-9 by Robert W. Armijo