Saturday, October 18, 2014

Toilet-Trained Felines Fined for Wasting Water

“Tinkles” the cat now prohibited
by California water officials from taking a leak 

San Francisco, California --

Water officials have begun issuing citations to owners of cats that have been trained to take a dump via a toilet instead of a sandbox.

With the use of satellites locked in low geosynchronous orbits – really, mostly drones now hovering -- above the earth, facebook, Twitter and Instagram postings, the Department of Water and Power (DWP) has been able to easily identify, track and monitor feline water waster culprits.

“We’re in the middle of the worst drought ever in recorded history,” said a DWP official. “So, everybody – including cats that have been trained to crap using toilets – have to be mindful and cutback on their water usage.”

“What the hell is going on?!” said a cat owner who spent the last six months training his cat to defecate in a toilet instead of a sandbox. “I thought in America a man was the lord of his own castle.”

“Yes,” replied a DWP official “We’re just asking that the cat owner not abdicate said throne to a feline...Just so it can take a dump in it...Which we now realize...in retrospect...is...a....pretty hard thing...if not impossible... for any cat owner...to do.”

Copyright © 2008-2014 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved

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