Showing posts with label midterm elections. Show all posts
Showing posts with label midterm elections. Show all posts

White House Responds to GOP Midterm Election Victory Joke #1

At the White House, the morning after the midterm elections...

President Obama: Good morning, Alfred.

Butler: Good morning, Mr. President. Here is your hand squeezed...

President Obama: Orange juice?

Butler: Yes, Mr. President. And here is...

President Obama: A freshly picked rose from the Rose Garden for the First Lady?

Butler: Yes, Mr. President. And here is...

President Obama: My morning newspaper?

Butler: Yes, Mr. President. 

President Obama: Thank you, Alfred...WTF!!!

Copyright © 2008-2014 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

photo courtesy of: 

Obama Tries Building “A Coalition of the Willing” of His Own

Washington, D.C. --

After two years of disappointing his base of Liberals, Progressives, Independents, some elderly and especially young voters, President Barack Obama announced today, after a failed rally attempt held at an undisclosed stadium at a college back east for a taped political TV commercial to be aired at a later date, that he is building “A Coalition of the Willing” of his own to save what is left of his super majority in both Houses of Congress, come this November’s midterm elections.

“Listen,” said Obama, while addressing a dwindling crowd of mostly youthful supporters. “Not too long ago you people were fainting at my rallies. Now, now you hardly swoon. What’s up with that?”

“In the not too distant past, those people would have broken out into laughter,” later noted an Obama’s staff member. “Now, not even a smile was seen on a single face in the crowd.”

As a somber and awkward silence seized the audience, a heckler spoke up to respond to the President, who once promised he would bring hope and change to the nation.

“What’s up with breaking your campaign promise not to sign a healthcare bill that didn’t have a public option?” the heckler answered the President's rhetorical question. “Let’s start with that!”

The crowd cheered the heckler.

“Look America,” replied Obama as he walked away from his podium and prepared speech on his teleprompter, rolling up his sleeves as he walked across the stage. “I never promised you a rose garden. And I know this may shock some of you out there, but I can’t walk on water, either.”

The crowd broke out into laughter, Obama smiled.

“Now what do you say, America,” continued Obama satisfied he regenerated the faithful as he walked back up to his podium and teleprompter. “What about we start over? And you help me build what I call ‘A Coalition of the Willing’ to restore hope and change to Washington?”

The crowd fell silent once more.

“Now you maybe asking yourself what’s this ‘Coalition of the Willing’ all about?” said Obama as he clearly began reading off his teleprompter again. Not noticing that his audience fell silent once again. “Well, you can breathe a sigh of relief; I’m not going to send you to invade a country. Not like, like that other guy.”

Obama paused and looked out to the crowd from behind his podium and teleprompter, waiting for them to react with laughter. But no one laughed. In fact, people resumed leaving the rally, quietly shuffling out in droves; heads hung low as before. 

Looking puzzled, Obama signaled to someone in his entourage to roll back his speech on the teleprompter.

“I said…,” Obama spoke picking up where he left off as he reread his speech from the teleprompter again, but this time with more emphasis on the punch line. “Well, you can breathe a sigh of relief; I’m not going to send you to invade a country. Not like, like that other guy -- The other guy, get it? Come on, people. That’s funny.”

“Not as funny as your administration,” yelled out the heckler as the crowd continued their exodus.

“Do you really want the other guy back?” said Obama, departing from his prepared speech as he nervously looked out at the people continuing to leave the rally. “Because that’s what is going to happen if you don’t vote for the Democrats in November. It’s either me or the other guy. It’s your choice. It’s that simple.”

The people did not respond to Obama’s threat. And soon all left the rally. Except for one man, the heckler, who sat up front.

“What are you still hanging around here for?” asked Obama, acknowledging the heckler.

"I don’t know,” replied the heckler. “New material?”

Copyright © 2008-2010 by Robert W. Armijo