Showing posts with label Steven Hawking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Steven Hawking. Show all posts

Open Mic Night at Caltech: You Know What's The Best Thing About Doing Standing Up Comedy in a Room Full of String Theory Physicists?

Cue Drum Roll...

 It's Open Mic Night at Caltech.



You know what's the best thing about doing standing up comedy in a room full of string theory physicists? 

No matter how bad your jokes, you can never bomb.

You know why? 

Because, they’ll laugh. No matter what.

You see, they have to. And for three reasons: 

1) Because they know string theory can never be proven. Thus invoking nervous laughter.

2) Because they know string theory really works. Thus they'll laugh even at your bad jokes based on the premise that eventually they will be funny -- so might as well get it over with now rather than later.

3) Because they don’t understand the material.








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Copyright © 2015 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

String Theory Joke #1



Q: What do theologians call String Theorists behind their backs?











A: Disciples of Thales.









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Copyright © 2015 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

String Theory Joke #2

Look! It's a Bird...It's a Plane...It's the God Particle!

Q: What do scientists call String Theorists behind their backs?


 A: Religious fanatics.






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Copyright © 2015 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Which is Most Likely to Be Proven Or Resolved, Ever?

"What the [BEEP] Are You Talking About You Mother [BLEEP]?
 I Never Give Multiple Choice Tests. Sorry, I accidentally hit the Bleep Button, Twice. What I Really Meant to Say Was..."

Which is Most Likely to Be Proven Or Resolved, Ever?


A: String Theory

B: Zeno’s Dichotomy Paradox   
 
C: Pi [3.14159265359...]
 
D:  B and/or C





Answer: D





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Copyright © 2015 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

"Hey, Ph. D. Cooper! Are You in There [Caltech]?


"Hey, Ph.D. Cooper [Big Bang Theory, TV show]! Are you in there [Caltech]? Come out! I got evidence that will finally prove String Theory is real…Not!"


To all the physicists that subscribe to String Theory that didn’t find this joke particularly funny: 

Don’t worry, eventually…you will.


Copyright © 2015 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.