Showing posts with label Caltech. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Caltech. Show all posts

Open Mic Night at Caltech 1.3: What calls did quantum mechanics make when they smash particles into each other at near the speed of light in the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) at CERN, discovering the Higgs boson?


Get Ready to Laugh Because Once Again...It's Open Mic Night at Caltech!


Q: What calls did quantum mechanics make when they smash particles into each other at near the speed of light in the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) at CERN, discovering the Higgs boson?






A: Schrödinger's cat calls.

It’s funny, because it’s both true and false at the same time.


Photo courtesy of wpclipart.com

Copyright (c) 2015 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Open Mic Night at Caltech 1.2: Quantum Zeno Effect [Turing Paradox] Stand Up “Cause or Effect?” Comedy Planck Time (tP)

Open Mic Night at Caltech 1.2: Quantum Zeno Effect [Turing Paradox] Stand Up “Cause or Effect?” Comedy Planck Time (tP)


Q: Why did the Conseil Européen pour la Recherche Nucléaire (CERN) order a case of eye drops for the entire Large Hadron Collider (LHC) campus?
 

A: So its physicists wouldn’t suffer dry-eye and blink. Thereby preventing the decay of any sub-atomic particles observed.

 


It’s funny, because it’s both true and false at the same time.


Photos courtesy of wpclipart.com

Copyright © 2015 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Open Mic Night at Caltech: You Know What's The Best Thing About Doing Standing Up Comedy in a Room Full of String Theory Physicists?

Cue Drum Roll...

 It's Open Mic Night at Caltech.



You know what's the best thing about doing standing up comedy in a room full of string theory physicists? 

No matter how bad your jokes, you can never bomb.

You know why? 

Because, they’ll laugh. No matter what.

You see, they have to. And for three reasons: 

1) Because they know string theory can never be proven. Thus invoking nervous laughter.

2) Because they know string theory really works. Thus they'll laugh even at your bad jokes based on the premise that eventually they will be funny -- so might as well get it over with now rather than later.

3) Because they don’t understand the material.








Photos courtesy of wpclipart.com

Copyright © 2015 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

String Theory Joke #2

Look! It's a Bird...It's a Plane...It's the God Particle!

Q: What do scientists call String Theorists behind their backs?


 A: Religious fanatics.






Photos courtesy of wpclipart.com

Copyright © 2015 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

"Hey, Ph. D. Cooper! Are You in There [Caltech]?


"Hey, Ph.D. Cooper [Big Bang Theory, TV show]! Are you in there [Caltech]? Come out! I got evidence that will finally prove String Theory is real…Not!"


To all the physicists that subscribe to String Theory that didn’t find this joke particularly funny: 

Don’t worry, eventually…you will.


Copyright © 2015 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.