Top 10 Things Mexican-Americans (A.K.A. “Pochos”) Can Do to Avoid Getting Deported Under Arizona’s SB 1070

International Boarder --

With the United States Supreme Court's upcoming ruling seemingly favoring Arizona’s SB 1070 (and with the first Hispanic, Sonia Sotomayor, onboard) and other state legislators following close behind. Recent discussions in the mainstream media analyzing only scenarios of authorities stopping and detaining only the undocumented citizens among us in their new “Dragnet”, leaving it up to local law enforcement to solely define who is and who is not a U.S. (naturalized and undocumented) citizen.

All that rather than considering the second-class citizenship the new judicially vetted law, and others like it, is surely to deal out to Mexican-Americans (“Pochos”).

Well, we here at funfakenews.com have taken the liberty to confront these serious unaddressed issues with a smile. By publishing ten simple suggestions for all U.S. (naturalized and undocumented) citizens alike that happen to still look like they just crossed the boarder when in reality the border crossed them.

Let us pray it does not “Railroad” the rest of us in the process as well.

Remember as a U.S. (naturalized and undocumented) citizen you have nothing to worry about, even if you still happen to look like an illegal alien, whatever that means under today’s politically correct construct. Unless that is when pulled over by the Arizona (or other) police for probable cause, You Happen to…

10) You happen to…have your car radio tuned to a so-called “Mexican Radio” speaking station.

9) You happen to… wear a crucifix around your neck and make the sign of the cross when passing by a Catholic Church.

8) You happen to… refer to your sandals as huaraches instead of flip-flops.

7) You happen to… have your automobile maintenance log, which documents you performed 9 out the last 10 major car repairs yourself.

6) You happen to… admit your ancestors are from Mexico and maybe the Philippines, too.

5) You happen to… still have a 2008 Obama “Hope and Change” bumper sticker on the back of your car.

4) You happen to… have a multiple hyphenated Spanish surname printed on your driver’s license.

3) You happen to… get caught singing along with your car radio to your favorite song in three languages: English, Spanish and Spanglish.

2) You happen to… own a talking Chihuahua that eerily sounds a lot like George Lopez or that Taco Bell ad.

1) You happen to… produce a state certified birth certificate from Hawaii -- Oh yeah, that’s how all this started (again).

Copyright © 2008-2012 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Obama Asks for an “Occupy Wall Street” Style “People’s Mic Check” at a Campaign Fundraising Dinner

Los Angeles, California –

So inspired by the “Occupy Wall Street” movement’s democratic “People’s Mic” way of communicating, by having a group of people repeat what a speaker is saying, because the New York Police Department prohibited the use of bullhorns or electronic public address system in Zuccotti Park. President Barack Obama decided to try it out himself.

After briefly explaining to the posh, well-to-do businessmen and celebrities in attendance at his campaign fundraising gala what the “People Mic” phenomena is all about and how it works, President Obama began his address.

“Mic Check!” said the president, standing at a podium without a microphone attached.

“MIC CHECK!” echoed back the audience (or People’s Mic), with the sole exception of a row of tables way in the back.

Obama again called out, “Mic Check!”

Again everyone in the audience, except for the row of tables in the back, repeated after the president, “MIC CHECK!”

“Now can I get a ‘People’s Mic Check’ just from the folks in the back?” asked an impatient Obama.

Again the president could hear from everyone in the audience, except for the row of tables in the back, as the People’s Mic repeated, “NOW CAN I GET A ‘PEOPLE’S MIC CHECK’ JUST FROM THE FOLKS IN THE BACK?”

“No, no,” said the president, scolding the People’s Mic. “I just want to hear from the people in the back now.”

“NO, NO,” echoed the People’s Mic. “I JUST WANT TO HEAR FROM THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK NOW.”

Obama grimaced at the People’s Mic, giving them the cut it gesture. Rapidly waving his hand across his throat.

Finally, someone from the back row of dinning tables stood up and spoke out.

“Are you addressing us?” asked a man in the back.

“Yeah,” responded the president as he paused a moment to stare down the People’s Mic, making sure it was turned off.

“That’s right,” continued Obama. “You people in the back sitting at the $1,000-a-plate cheep seat section. You’ll have to speak up, because I can hear the $7,500-a- plate section just fine. But not you guys.”

Then a man in the front row stood up and asked Obama, “What about us?”

“WHAT ABOUT US?” the People’s Mic repeated, uncertain if they spoke out of turn.

“Don’t worry,” replied the president, giving a thumbs up to the People’s Mic to be turned back on. “You folks in the $38,500-a-plate section are coming in loud and clear.”

“DON’T WORRY,” echoed the People’s Mic. “YOU FOLKS IN THE $38,500-A-PLATE SECTION ARE COMING IN LOUD AND CLEAR.”


Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.