Showing posts with label Lindsay Lohan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lindsay Lohan. Show all posts

Lindsay Lohan Does SNL Clean, Sober and Fully Clothed?!

New York, New York --

Much to the disappointment of millions of her fans, Lindsay Lohan hosted Saturday Night Live (SNL) this weekend clean, sober and fully clothed. In fact, she was so unlike her old self that she had trouble getting pass security, who refused her admittance into the Rockefeller building despite her presenting proper identification.

“You guys are going to make me late,” said Lohan.

Frustrated, Lindsay went to the local bar to get sinking drunk.

“She sat at the end of the bar and ordered Tequila shots,” said the bartender.

Approximately 20 minutes later, a combative Lohan returned to the building ready to give security a piece of her mind.

Visibly intoxicated and flashing her "beaver" as she stumbled out of her limousine, security immediately rushed Lindsay Lohan into the building.

“Where have you been Miss Lohan?” asked security, as they lifted her up by her sides and carried her into the elevator. “We missed you.”

Unfortunately for fans of Lindsay Lohan, the Tequila shots wore off on the elevator ride up to Studio 8H where she was able to host SNL clean, sober and fully clothed.

Copyright © 2008-2012 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Top 10 Rejected Rose Parade Float Ideas for 2011 – Vote for Your Favorite!

Happy New Year!
And don’t forget to
pickup after yourself!

10) The Tiger Woods’ Miniature Golf Course Float -- Links Decorated with Novelty Corporate Iconic Product Placement Logos Like Before, Only Now Representing Lost Endorsements

9) The “99 Weekers” Mobile Food Bank Float

8) The Arizona’s SB 1070 Anti-Illegal Immigration Float Decorated by ‘Petal Pushers’ Volunteers – The only people known to do a job for less wages than the undocumented

7) The Lindsay Lohan Rehab, Court and County Jail Float with Revolving Door

6) The Brett Favre’s Giant Text Float with Giant Magnifying Glass

5) The Alaskan Wilderness Frontier Float Featuring Sarah Palin Shooting Bambi from a Helicopter

4) The Arnold Schwarzenegger “I won’t be back Cal-Lee-Four-Knee-Ahh!” Float Sponsored by His Own Failed Terminator Administration

3) The “Say, Whatever Happened to Haiti?” Float Sponsored by – Oh look, a distraction!

2) The Christine O’Donnell Satanic Pentagram and Salem Witch Trial Reenactment Float

And a 3-Way Tie for Number One in the New Year 2011:

1A) The Crisis in the Gulf of Mexico “Where Did All Dat Oil Go?” Float


1B) The Tea Party’s 2010 Candidate Float Sponsored by Gotham City’s Arkham Insane Asylum Mental Healthcare Workers Association


1C) The Mr. WikiLeaks Himself:, Julian Assange, Man of International Mystery Float – Completely Constructed Out of Glass Mirrors

Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All Rights Reserved.