President Barack Obama’s ‘Shovel-Ready’ Economy Finally Getting Busy…Digging ‘U.S.’ Out from His Bull --

Washington, D.C. --

The White House confirmed that Obama’s stimulus package is working, citing a round the clock team of ‘shove-ready’ men the president has on standby 24 hours, 7 days a week to clean up after him whenever he makes one of his emotionally charged purple prose political do nothing speeches.

“There’s so much of it in just one of his speeches,” said a member of the ‘shovel-ready’ cleanup crew. “I have to wear hip boots just to wade through it so I can get close enough to clean it up.”

In fact, White House staff members have begun wearing hip boots as well.

“The president often paces up and down the hallways of the White House while practicing his speeches,” explains a White House staff member. “So he tends to leave a trail of his bull [BLEEP] behind him. We try not to step in it, but sometimes it’s unavoidable so the hip boots really help.”

So popular are the hip boots at the White House that they have become a fashion tread of sorts among the staff.

“Oh yeah,” confirmed another White House staff member. “Hip boots are quite trendy in the Obama White House. But really they’re a common sense combination of function and form.”

Reportedly, Obama even has several pairs on hand for visiting foreign dignitaries to wear, so they can feel like they fit right in.

“Of course, we don’t have to worry about visiting members of Congress,” said the White House Press Secretary. “They have their own. Only you could never tell because they wear them under their suits. We don’t, because Obama wants his administration to be transparent.”

“Good thing I didn’t throw mine away from the last administration,” said a member of the press core.

“I had to buy a new pair,” said another reporter. “Because I actually believed his change campaign promise.”

Ironically, all this purchasing of hip boots is helping to grow the economy, stimulating American manufacturing in a self-fulfilling prophecy kind of way.

“If Obama keeps dishing it out at this rate,” said an economist. “He could single-handedly pull the country out of a recession as the nation reaches for their pair of hip boots every time he speaks.”

“At least that’s what I’ll be telling the president this afternoon. So I hope he’s wearing his pair,” said an Obama adviser, pausing a moment while slipping on his own pair of hip boots reading for the first time the manufacturing label attached. “Made in China’. Huh, I wonder what that could mean?”

“Excuse me Mr. President,” said Obama’s personal secretary over the intercom. “The cleaning crew is here.”

“What? Already? I just started practicing my speech,” replied the president.

Copyright © 2008-9 by Robert W. Armijo