New York, New York --
In the midst of our nation’s healing from the collective trauma we suffered at the hands of the Heene family, when we were all duped into believing their 6-year-old son, Falcon, was a stowaway aboard a homemade run away experimental aircraft, Macy’s ‘Thanksgiving’ parade planners have decided to add to the levity by taking a moment to address a serious topic: Mylar flying saucer shaped balloon parental abduction.
Macy parade planners consider what they are doing as a public service.
“It’s a giant floating PSA spot really,” said Helen Ryan, spokesman for the Macy’s ‘Thanksgiving’ Parade. “Letting the children know they have options.”
Options like letting children know that it is okay to say no to their parents, especially when they ask them to crawl into a flying saucer shaped Mylar balloon. Or go up in the attic above the garage and hid in a cardboard box for a couple hours from authorities for a poorly thought-out and executed publicity stunt to get a reality TV show of their own.
Mrs. Ryan went on to quote the statistics behind parental balloon abduction, justifying her decision to have the ‘Balloon Boy’ in this year’s Marcy’s Thanksgiving parade.
“This year, so far, there has been just the one case,” acknowledged Mrs. Ryan. ”But we are expecting at least one more like it to occur in our lifetime.”
However, in all this, we must not lose sight of what ‘Thanksgiving’ is all about, insists Mrs. Ryan.
“Thanksgiving’ should be a time when we bring the family altogether and count our blessings,” continued Mrs. Ryan. “And this year, we can all be thankful that we’re not an adolescent member of the Heene household…Oh yeah, and not only for the safe return of Little Falcon, but especially for his throwing up, not once but twice, on national TV, but also for his managing to spill the beans in the process as well.”
Below the giant helium filled ‘Balloon Boy’ figurine will be a float carrying the emergency rescuers that responded to the balloon boy 911 call, as well as the parents of Falcon Heene behind bars in effigy.
Copyright© 2008-9 by Robert W. Armijo
In the midst of our nation’s healing from the collective trauma we suffered at the hands of the Heene family, when we were all duped into believing their 6-year-old son, Falcon, was a stowaway aboard a homemade run away experimental aircraft, Macy’s ‘Thanksgiving’ parade planners have decided to add to the levity by taking a moment to address a serious topic: Mylar flying saucer shaped balloon parental abduction.
Macy parade planners consider what they are doing as a public service.
“It’s a giant floating PSA spot really,” said Helen Ryan, spokesman for the Macy’s ‘Thanksgiving’ Parade. “Letting the children know they have options.”
Options like letting children know that it is okay to say no to their parents, especially when they ask them to crawl into a flying saucer shaped Mylar balloon. Or go up in the attic above the garage and hid in a cardboard box for a couple hours from authorities for a poorly thought-out and executed publicity stunt to get a reality TV show of their own.
Mrs. Ryan went on to quote the statistics behind parental balloon abduction, justifying her decision to have the ‘Balloon Boy’ in this year’s Marcy’s Thanksgiving parade.
“This year, so far, there has been just the one case,” acknowledged Mrs. Ryan. ”But we are expecting at least one more like it to occur in our lifetime.”
However, in all this, we must not lose sight of what ‘Thanksgiving’ is all about, insists Mrs. Ryan.
“Thanksgiving’ should be a time when we bring the family altogether and count our blessings,” continued Mrs. Ryan. “And this year, we can all be thankful that we’re not an adolescent member of the Heene household…Oh yeah, and not only for the safe return of Little Falcon, but especially for his throwing up, not once but twice, on national TV, but also for his managing to spill the beans in the process as well.”
Below the giant helium filled ‘Balloon Boy’ figurine will be a float carrying the emergency rescuers that responded to the balloon boy 911 call, as well as the parents of Falcon Heene behind bars in effigy.
Copyright© 2008-9 by Robert W. Armijo
