Showing posts with label Osama bin Laden. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Osama bin Laden. Show all posts

Osama Bin Laden Nearly Escaped? Armed with a Herring?

Washington, D.C. --

Details are rapidly moving beyond sketchy. Into contradictory testimony territory and well into mental hopscotch mode regarding last Sunday’s daring raid by Special Forces on the secret lair of Osama bin Laden, located miles outside Abbottabad, Pakistan.

Despite initial reports filed by the mainstream media, for example, aided by sensational computer animations of the infamous terrorist leader firing an AK-47 at an approaching Black Hawk helicopter from the rooftop of his compound (or from inside), it is now reported instead that he was shot and killed, while unarmed.

However, the photographic evidence taken at the scene by a news crew shortly after the raid has now clearly contradicted those reports, like so many subsequently since. And which is now being scrutinized and analyzed by the likes of armchair generals and Monday morning quarterbacks.

Amongst the images amidst a ransacked room, appears that of a herring.

No doubt suggesting that Bin Laden was armed after all. Armed with a herring.

"It wasn’t just any herring either," said an antiterrorist network TV consultant. "It was a whole intact pickled herring."

According to the antiterrorist network TV consultant's latest theory, Bin Laden successfully beat back the Special Forces for a brief period of time.

"And nearly to the point of unconsciousness with only a pickled herring in hand," continued the antiterrorist network TV consultant.

At that point, Bin Laden was inches away from making his escape from the third floor of his compound.

"When lifting up his hand to make a final blow, striking the face of a Navy SEAL stationed at the only exit," said the antiterrorist network TV consultant.

Only the herring Bin Laden held in hand suddenly broke off at the tail. Flying over his head, it hit one of his three wives (the only one present in the room at the time) on the leg.

"That left the notorious international terrorist temporarily unarmed," said the antiterrorist network TV consultant.

And that gave the Special Forces team the time they desperately needed to recover from the surprise herring attack.

However, Bin Laden wasted no time rearming either.

"As he ran back to the pickle jar to reload, Special Forces began shooting at him," said the antiterrorist network TV consultant.

However, still disoriented with their night vision goggles knocked to the floor, they repeatedly missed their target.

"By the time they reacquired it," continued the antiterrorist network TV consultant. "The hit team was now facing down a rearmed Osama."

Though it was through the assistance of the business end of the barrel of their laser-pointer rifle scopes.

Only this time, Bin Laden was not holding a pickled herring in his hand anymore.

"He was holding two pickled herrings," said the antiterrorist network TV consultant. "They had no choice. They had to take him down."

Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.
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White House Releases Death Photo of Geronimo, Instead of Osama Bin Laden

Washington, D.C. --

In a case of alleged mistaken identity, the White House released what they believed was a photo of a deceased Osama bin Laden. However, what they actually released was a grainy, black and white image of a then very much dead, Geronimo instead.

"Actually, we didn't make the mistake. Another branch of government did," said a spokesman for the White House. "But does it really matter anyway? I mean back then to White settlers being massacred on the frontier by the Apache nation, Geronimo was the Osama Bin Laden of their time."

So the White House authorized the release of Geronimo's death photo taken at Fort Sill, Oklahoma on February 17, 1909 as a substitute for Osama bin Laden.

However, some Native Americans believe the so-called "mistaken identity" is payback by some elements in the federal government for their release of a controversial but popular T-shirt. A silkscreen reprint of a black and white photo of a group of armed Native Americans from the 19th century (Geronimo among them) with an accompanying caption, which reads: "[The Original] Homeland Security – Fighting Terrorism Since 1492"

"I guess some of our White brothers resented the comparison of their ancestors to terrorists," said a Native American. "Sound familiar?"

Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Photo Courtesy of:">http://www।">