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"Help me! I am a freak of nature. Created somewhere
around the 16th hole by many who consider a mad man
who thinks he possesses god-like powers. And the scary
thing is: He's right! He has god-like powers to destroy
the world and everything in it! Help me! Actually,
forget about me. Help yourselves! I'll just sit here
on this tree branch and hold my breath until I turn
blue and pass out cold.
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By Robert W. Armijo
We now join the press conference
live at the International Golf Club at Mar-a-Lago already in progress…
“I know it came as a shocker
to me too,” said President Donald J. Trump, while leaning on a nine iron from behind a podium bearing the presidential seal. “I
mean I’ve always known I had the power to take life, but create it, too? Who would've guess that? Right?”
The president was then asked
by a reporter when and how the incident occurred.
“Just this afternoon,”
replied the president. “Some guy told me I made a birdie, while I was playing a
round of golf. And the funny thing is I wasn’t even trying. Sometimes I even
amaze myself. So I turned to the guy and asked him, ‘Really? What kind of a
birdie?’ But he didn’t say. He just stood there with a look of awe and
wonderment on his face -- Yeah, just like that look you all are giving me right
now. No doubt dumbstruck by my awesomeness at my new God-like powers of creation.
Gotta go now. Got to get back to my game and finish it. I’ll let you know if I create anything else
other than an another birdie. I don’t know maybe a Unicorn this time. I heard those things went extinct under the previous administration -- And by that I mean the Obama administration! So it may take awhile. So don’t hold your breath, because I haven’t tested out my
powers of resurrection yet.”
Just like that the president
still adorned in full golf regatta walked away from the podium and back onto the green, disappearing into a sand trap somewhere
near the 17th hole.
Copyright© 2017 by Robert W.
Armijo. All rights reserved.
