Showing posts with label Congressman Anthony Weiner. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Congressman Anthony Weiner. Show all posts

Dr. Phil Psychoanalyzes ‘Carlos Danger’ (a.k.a. Anthony Weiner)

Hollywood, California --

“Why would you, Anthony Weiner, choose a pseudonym like ‘Carlos Danger’ to conceal your online identity?” asked Dr. Phil, before a live studio audience as he sat across from the former congressman and current New York City mayoral candidate. Now days, a name made infamous more for its addiction to sexting strange women rather than a record for outstanding public service. 

“Because, I like living dangerously,” Weiner replied simply. 

“Yes, I see,” said Dr. Phil as he set aside his cell phone. “That would explain the surname of your pseudonym. However, that doesn’t explain why you chose ‘Carlos’ as the first name of your pseudonym, does it now?”

“No,” said Weiner after a long pause before answering. “It doesn’t.”

“Would you like to tell me now?” asked Dr. Phil. “Because the pseudonym you’ve chosen can provide me with immense insight into aiding me to answer the question as to the reason why you feel you have a compulsory need to engage in this self-destructive behavior of sexting strange women. Or women you don’t know very well.”

“No, I’ll tell you, Dr. Phil,” said Weiner. “I chose the name ‘Carlos’ not so much to hide my identity as to expose...”

“And who’s that?” asked Dr. Phil, as he glances over at his cell phone. 

“That would be ‘Little Carlito’,” answered Weiner. “Short for ‘Carlos’.” 

“And I presume ‘Little Carlito’ is the nickname you’ve given your penis?” asked Dr. Phil. 

“No, actually,” replied Weiner. “It’s not my nickname for it. I mean it’s its nickname. I’m not denying that. What I mean is that I didn’t come up with it.”

“Well then. This is telling,” said Dr. Phil. “Who did?”

“My wife,” replied Weiner. “In fact, it was all her idea.”

“You mean the nickname?” asked Dr. Phil.

“The nickname, the pseudonym and the whole sexting thing,” replied Weiner.

“You mean sexting to her only?” asked a surprised Dr. Phil. “And then you decided on your own volition to take it a step further. And you started sexting other women without her knowledge.”

“No,” Weiner calmly replied. “She’s into it too.”

“What kind of fool do you think I am?” Dr. Phil asked rhetorically. “Expecting me to believe your wife is the one responsible for your behavior. You’re just trying to set her up to fall on your sword -- No pun intended folks.” 

Just then, Weiner’s cellphone gave off a distinctive ring tone familiar only to him.

“Excuse me, Dr. Phil,” said Weiner, confirming who was calling him. “I got to take this call. It’s my wife.” 

“Sure,” said Dr. Phil. “Go ahead.”

As Weiner walked backstage to take his cell phone call in private, the silhouette of his slender but physically fit frame was visible from behind an opaque screen. 

“Hi, honey,” answered Weiner, unaware he was exposing his profile to Dr. Phil and the studio audience. “Just talking to Dr. Phil about you know who. What’s that? Here? Now? Well, okay. If you say so.”

Weiner then unzipped his pants, dropping them to the floor. Then while holding his cell phone out before him, he proceeded to take a series snapshots of his private parts.

“There,” said Weiner. “I just hit send. Did you get them yet? See I told you ‘Little Carlito’ is okay. I gotta go now, honey. Love you too.”

Weiner then zips up his pants, pockets his cell phone and proceeds to walk back on stage, sitting on the couch. 

“Sorry about that,” said Weiner. “Now, where was I?”

“Never mind,” said Dr. Phil.  

 Copyright © 2008-2013 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.  

Congress’s Weiner Resigns!

Over Over Overexposure!

Washington, D.C. --

Standing shirtless behind a podium at a press conference he called, Congressman Anthony Weiner (D) or "Mr. Weiner" delivered his much-anticipated resignation for sexting young attractive women, pictures of his half-naked body and his nearly and at times fully exposed "frankfurter".

“There,” said Weiner as he spoke to the room filled with reporters, finally looking up at them from his BlackBerry. His hands gripping both side of the podium in an authoritative yet still defiant manner. “I just instant messaged all of you a copy of my resignation. You should get it momentarily.”

But the room full of seasoned reporters looked down at their mobile devices just to see a blank screen staring back at them.

“What? You didn’t get it yet?” asked a surprised Weiner. But his perplexed and puzzled expression soon gave way as he applied his nerd-like technical expertise to quickly resolved the issue.

“Ah, I see the problem,” said Weiner looking down at his BlackBerry. “I forgot to press the send button.”

With his hands still gripping the sides of the podium, Weiner, with gyrating hips and a quick forward thrust, shook and rocked the podium.

“There,” said Weiner reassuringly. “You should get it now.”

The crowd of reporters too horrified and shocked to ask any questions just let out a gasped instead.

As Weiner looked up, the perplexed and puzzled expression of before returned to his face.

“What?” said an unapologetic and sincerely clueless Weiner. “It’s a hands-free device.”

Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Congressman Anthony Weiner Resigns Via Text

Where’s the Wholesomeness?

Bye-bye, American Pie…Oops! My bad. Really poor choice of words. Let me start over…Bye-bye, American Pie. Okay, that one was a Freudian slip.

Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.
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