Showing posts with label Baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Baby. Show all posts

Photo of Baby with Puppies Goes Viral: The Tragic Hidden Story Behind the Scenes...

Awww...ful. Yeah, I know. It's Called Dark Humor.

By Robert W. Armijo

“Originally the bitch gave birth to 10 puppies,” said the owner of the dog, who herself gave birth on the same day to a healthy baby boy. “But she got dressed...And so, she ate one.”

The owner then took her dog to the vet for a checkup.

“She is suffering from postpartum depression,” said the family veterinarian. “It’s a common condition experienced by most mammals and some marsupials after giving birth.” 

The vet gave the dog some medication, but he could not make any promises.

“She may eat another one,” the veterinarian cautioned. “There’s just no telling.”

“That’s what gave me the idea to have my baby pose with the remaining nine puppies,” said the new mother, as she reached in to the baby crib, lifting up her baby, walking it over to a rocking chair. “I waited a family portrait of the survivors.”

So the owner called a photographer friend of hers to take the adoring pictures.

Tragically, the next day the owner woke up to discover that there were now only eight puppies left.

“She must have eaten another one, sometime last night,” said the owner with indifference in her voice, as she stroked and kissed the head of her baby, slowly rocking the chair back and forth, back and forth, back and forth...
“Lucky dog,” the mother whispered into the newborn's ear, as she reached out with one hand and closed the door to the nursery. 

Photos courtesy of

Copyright © 2015 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Justin Bieber’s Romantic Bathroom Stall Candlelight Dinner

Hollywood Bowl, California –

Recently at one of his concerts, backstage in a bathroom stall, Justin Bieber hosted a romantic candlelight dinner for the future mother of his child. That, according to pleadings filed with the court in a paternity suit against the teen heartthrob today.

“I wouldn’t say it was crowded,” stated the still infatuated and now impregnated 20-year-old Bieber fan in her affidavit. “I’d prefer to recall it as cozy.”

Justin spared no expense either, as he apparently lined the interior of the bathroom stall with vintage Walt Disney “Lady and the Tramp” movie posters.

“I heard they cost tens of dollars on eBay,” said the young lady.

As the two settled into the bathroom stall, sitting on the floor opposite from each other, across from the toilet bowl and with a single lit candle placed atop a tablecloth draped over it, Justin shared a deep personal secret.

“You know,” said Justin. “When I was a kid growing up, I wanted to be to one of two things.”

“Really, what?” asked the young lady.

“One was an international pop star with an incredible amount of wealth, fame and power at his fingertips,” said Justin. “And I’ve done that, as you can see.”

“Yeah,” agreed the young lady, giggling. “And the other?”

Justin paused a moment, tuning his head to the side revealing that perfect cartoon caricature profile of his.

“And the other?” gently repeated the young lady.

“And the other,” said Justin, as he leaned over the toilet bowl to whisper into the young lady’s ear. “The other…is a father.”

The young lady sighed and softly bit on her lower lip.

“You had me at pop star,” said the young lady.

“I know,” said Justin as he reached into his back pocket pulling out a Japanese headband, which he quickly placed over his forehead.

“What are you doing?” asked the young lady.

“I promised you a dinner, didn’t I?” replied Justin, pulling out a small tray with cold rice, vinegar and seaweed meticulously arranged in a decorative manner.

“Yeah, but here? “Now? How?” the young lady questioned excitedly.

“Sure, why not?” Justin said. “I got a couple of minutes before my second encore.”

Justin then removed the candle and tablecloth covering the toilet bowl lid. Lifting it up, he exposed the interior of the bowl and fish swimming inside.

Reaching into the toilet bowl barehanded, Justin pulled out a fish.

“It was still wiggling in his hand,” said the young lady.

Pulling out a Ginsu kitchen knife, Justin lobbed off its head.

After dinner and just before Justin returned to the stage, the two kissed and exchanged parting words.

“OMG,” said the young lady. “That was the best sushi I ever tasted.”

“Yeah, me too,” said Justin. “Me too.”

Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

A Justin Bieber Paternity Suit Joke

A 20-year-old woman filed a paternity suit against teen heartthrob, Justin Bieber. Alleging that he is the father of her 3-month-old child. In court documents, she even goes so far as to claim that Bieber had sex with her for the sole purpose of getting her pregnant, saying to her: “Oh baby. Will you have my ‘♪Baby, baby, baby, oh♪”

Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.