Punxsutawney Phil Appointed to Head White House Council to Reopen America

"WTF Is Going On?!"

Washington, D.C. --

By Robert W. Armijo

Overshadowed by the news of President Trump  appointing Ivanka and Jared Kushner to the White House Council to Reopen America, the mainstream media missed the other news of the  appointment of Punxsutawney Phil to head the controversial advisory body to the president. 

The White House denies the appointment of the world famous weather predicting groundhog is a political one. 

“Punxsutawney Phil has been predicting an early or late spring since 1887 by whether or not he could see or not see his shadow,” said a White House spokesman. “The president believes the groundhog’s credentials speak for themselves and are unimpeachable.”

Critics maintain, however, that the appointment had everything to do with Punxsutawney Phil declaring an early spring earlier this year on February 2. 

“By nature, the president is an optimist,” said a White House spokesman. “So it is only natural  that he would want a fellow optimist to lead the council to reopen America. After all, the decision to reopen America is just as much an art as it is a science.”

Photo(s) courtesy of Wpclipart.com

Copyright © 2020 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

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