Sen. Bernie Sanders's Supporters Offer to Donate Their Hearts…Lungs…Kidneys…to the Recuperating 2020 Presidential Candidate from Vermont

"I am Senator Bernie Sanders 
and I do NOT approve of this message."
-- Washington, D.C.

By Robert W. Armijo

In the aftermath of Senator Bernie Sanders’s heart attack, a hardcore group of his supporters have sent a letter to the 2020 presidential candidate, offering themselves up to the senator as living human organ donors.

Members of the group even took the liberty of marking their bodies with black sharpie markers, outlining their organs to be harvested should the need arise on the campaign trail. 

“He [Sanders] already has my heart,” said Lucy Brown as she lifted up her blouse, exposing her bare chest and pierced nipples. She then grabbed a sharpie and began to draw a perforated dotted line around her heart.

“See?” she said.

Brown then closed her eyelids and began drawing circles around her eyes.

“Now he has my eyes too,” Brown added.

“Ouch!” exclaimed Brown as she dropped the marker and grabbed her left eye.

“Well, I guess he can have just the one,” said Brown.

Other members of the group sat in a giant circle drawing on each other’s backs, indicating which organs they would donate to the senior senator from Vermont.

Suddenly a member of the group stood up and shouted.

“Wait!” said a young man in a Che Guevara style t-shirt with the image of Sanders wearing a beret instead. “Can’t you see this is all wrong?”

Members of the group looked at each other in confusion as they lowered their markers.

“He wouldn’t want us to be marking are young bodies with sharpies as to which organs we’re going to donate to him,” continued the young man. “He wouldn’t want that.”

“No?” Brown questioned as she loosely held the marker in her hand.

“No!” repeated the young man. “He would want us all to get tattoos!”

“You’re right!” echoed Brown as she tossed her sharpie to the ground.

“Because,” added the young man as he pulled a pair car keys from his pocket. “Tattoos don’t wash off with sweat or water or teargas.”

With that, the Bernie Sanders's supporters piled into a flower power decorated VW van and drove off into the sunset headed for the closest tattoo parlor.

Photo(s) courtesy of

Copyright © 2019 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

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