-- New York, New York
By Robert W. Armijo
By Robert W. Armijo
Kowtowing to the mounting pressure
from the porno industry, SNL’s Pete Davidson apologized to male porn star
performers everywhere for comparing them to GOP congressional candidate and
wounded Afghanistan war veteran, Dan Crenshaw, who lost an eye in the service
of his country.
“It was never my intent to make a mockery
of one-eyed eye patch wearing male porn stars and their fine service to the pornography industry,” said
Pete Davidson at a press conference held at the very same ‘Weekend Update’ desk
on the set of SNL.
“I mean how would men or women know
when to get off if, it weren’t for the ‘money shot’ generously and
self-sacrificingly provided by male porn stars?” said Pete Davidson. “I mean
with women, you don’t know. They could be faking it. But with guys, you know. Because
of the ‘money shot’. You know?”
Pete Davidson seemed to acknowledge
his folly right from the get go.
“As soon as those words left my
mouth,” said Pete Davidson. “I knew I would regret them.”
Reportedly, Pete Davidson had somewhat
of a near death experience, while he spoke those hurtful words of hate speech.
“It was like I was in a war zone and
IED exploded in my face,” said a remorseful Pete Davidson. “I saw every porn
movie I ever watched flash right before my eyes.”
A visibly shaken Pete Davidson paused
a moment before continuing.
“All that jizz flowing through the
air as thick as bullets,” said a verklempt Pete Davidson. "It brought tears to my eyes."
Copyright © 2018 by Robert W. Armijo.
All rights reserved.
Photo courtesy of clipart.com
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