Yvonne “The Run Away” Cow to Undergo Mad Cow Disease Testing

Hamburg, Germany –

The story of Yvonne “The Run Away” Cow has sadly taken a turn for the worst recently. When shortly after her safe capture by animal rights activists, Germany’s equivalent of the department of agriculture announced today the wayward bovine must be tested for Mad Cow Disease.

Animal rights activists had planned to retire Yvonne to a ranch where she would have spent the rest of her natural life grazing and breeding.

“Not so fast,” said a spokesman for the agriculture department. “We suspect that Yvonne’s bizarre behavior of escaping the slaughterhouse can directly be attributed to her having contracted bovine spongiform encephalopathy or BSE [Mad Cow Disease].”

“That must be it,” said Yvonne’s previous owner, who sold her to the slaughterhouse, after naming her and raising her up since she was a calf. “Why else would she run off into the forest like that when she had a nice slaughterhouse waiting for her?”

Unfortunately, Yvonne will have to be put down (killed) in order to conduct the BSE test properly.

“The good news is if she passes, her meat will be deemed suitable for human, canine and feline consumption,” said the spokesman. “Available for sale to the general public in the meat department and pet food aisle of your local supermarket.”

Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

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