OctoMom’s Doc: I could’ve gone plumper

Los Angeles, California --

During an emotional PowerPoint presentation that was obviously engineered to sway the members of the California medical board in favor of the investigators trying to revoke the medical license of fertility specialist, Dr. Michael Kamrava, who stands accused of violating the medical ethics of his profession by implanting 12 embryos (instead of the recommended two) into the so-called “OctoMom” (Nadya Suleman, divorced), sat quietly.

Although the doctor watched the presentation in silence, he cut his own throat by inadvertently surrendering self-incrimination testimony at the conclusion of the slide show.

“I don’t know,” said a reporter who attended the hearing. “He didn’t seem phased at all by the pregnant pictures of Suleman. In fact, he looked like he was admiring them.”

In the darkened medical board room, images of the alleged victim’s bloated ballistic-like belly reflected off the doctor’s spectacles, as a synchronized soundtrack from the movie “Titanic” played in the background.

As one series of photos ended, another series began; seemingly filling up the projector screen with an endless pride of OctoMom posing in various protruding positions and gigantic states of gestation.

However, as soon as the projector screen went bleach white plank, pausing between each of the 35-year-old Suleman’s 14 pregnancies (as the computer struggled loading up the new data on its hard drive), people eagerly moved about in their seats in anticipation of the lights coming up, only to be disappointed when more pregnant photographs of OctoMom assaulted them instead.

Gasps of shock and disgust, which emanated from the sympatric audience in the beginning, were quickly replaced by groans of “Oh man, not another one” or “What the? Not again!” by the end.

Finally, as the slideshow presentation concluded, the fertility specialist leaned over to whisper into his attorney’s ear.

“I could’ve gone plumper,” gloated the accused as the lights came back on in the room.

Copyright © 2008-2010 by Robert W. Armijo