Gulf Underwater ‘Death Plume’ Headed Inland -- Straight as The Crow Flies for Brit Hume!

New Orleans, Louisiana --

After denying on FOX TV that the British Petroleum (BP) oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico posed a real threat because he did not see any pictures of oil washing on the shore and because millions of gallons of oil naturally seeps up every year from the ocean floor around the world which is then absorb, Brit Hume learned today what can only be best described as an underwater ‘Death Plume’ of crude was heading inland, straight for him.

“Death plume? What death plume?” said a still defiant Brit Hume, as he took to the airwaves again. This time images of oil mixed with a toxic chemical dispersant washing ashore all along the U.S. coastline, contaminating and killing off anything in its destructive path, played out on a giant in studio plasma screen behind him. “Sounds made-up to me. Like evolution, or the ‘Death Star’ in that ‘Star Wars’ movie.”

Outside the TV studio, just a mile away offshore, the death plume still beneath the surface of the Gulf begins its metamorphosis, changing its shape.

“Next they’ll be telling you there’s something called the ‘Force’,” Brit Hume continued to mock. “Like some kind of energy field created by all living things. That surrounds us and penetrates us. That binds the galaxy together.”

Slowly the death plume breaches the surface of the water, finally reaching the shore. Only not in the form of tiny little globes of tar anymore, but that of a giant looming sphere, rising up high into the sky blotting out the sun like a ‘Death Star’ and casting its shadow across the entire Louisiana coastline…and beyond.

Reaching under his desk, Brit Hume pulls out a plastic baggy containing a small glob of tar.

“I have your so-called ‘death plume’ right here!” continued Brit Hume, waving the plastic baggy in the air. “Is this what all the fuss is about?”

TV studio lights begin to flicker and fade.

Copyright © 2008–2010 by Robert W. Armijo