Indy 500: London Lawnmower Man Qualifies for Race

The Brickyard, Indianapolis --

In a last minute midnight unanimous decision, league officials of the Indy 500 said that there was nothing in the rulebook they could find that barred a specially modified mountable lawnmower from qualifying for competition in the legendary car race.

So rookie racer, Don Wales, from Carmathenshire, England drove for the first time ever in the 94-year history of the race a lawnmower onto the brickyard, hoping to qualify for pole position.

Only as soon as Wales started his engine, signs of trouble began to show.

“He had to exit his vehicle several times to pull the cord,” said Danica Patrick. “And then he adjusted the throttle so many times, I thought he flooded the engine for sure.”

“I never had trouble like that in my FIA Formula One,” said Helio Castroneves. “And when I do, I make a pit stop. I never leave the safety of my car…unless it’s on fire, of course. Or to climb a fence, maybe.”

Once the modified lawnmower got on its way, however, it managed to awe even the most cynical of the traditional Indianapolis 500 drivers and spectators alike.

“I was impressed,” said a spectator. “Especially the way it took the right angle corners of the track.”

Unfortunately, as Wales was pulling his modified lawnmower out of a corner with only ‘clean air’ ahead of him, he seemed to suddenly lose control.

As Wales began to spin wildly, heading straight for the infield of the speedway, the crowd gasped. Then taking to their feet, they watched in total silence, as he began mowing the grass there instead.

Nevertheless, many Indy 500 drivers say Wales has a future in racing.

“Judging from the job he did on the infield grass,” said Mario Andretti. “If this would have been a NASCAR race, he would have won.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t have used the ‘push-to-pass’ feature so soon coming out of the corner like that,” said Wales, trying to explain what went wrong. “Now I missed a spot and have to go back and mow it all over again.”

कोपyright © 2008-2010 by Robert W. Armijo