Brit Hume Wishes Gulf Oil Spill into ‘The Cornfield’


Brit Hume, host of Fox News Sunday, took to the airwaves over the weekend insisting that the ocean is big enough to absorb the British Petroleum (BP) oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

“I don’t see any oil spill, do you?” rhetorically asked Brit Hume as he sat opposite journalist, Juan Williams. “In fact, I’m beginning to wonder if this is not all some kind of elaborate liberal hoax.”

“Pardon me?” replied Juan Williams, struggling to maintain a professional demeanor.

“And if there is an oil slick, so what?” continued Brit Hume. “Millions of barrels of oil naturally leak into the oceans of the world every year. And that’s not counting all that Hawaiian Tropic tanning oil either.”

A stunned Juan Williams looked on. His eyes slowly glazing over, while trying to remain engaged. Inside an internal struggle was taking place as he reflected over the span of his journalistic career, questioning his decision to be in the same room with Brit Hume, let alone interview him on national TV regarding quite possibly the worst manmade ecological peacetime disaster in history. Wondering what would be the consequences, not only for himself but his profession as well for their participation in trying to pass off this kabuki style theater for news. Then he thought, “Nah, its just FOX.”

“And if I may, isn’t the Gulf of Mexico like a giant cornfield?” Brit Hume resumed. “And I bet if we all wished real hard, we could wish it there. Wouldn’t that be a good thing? Wouldn’t that be a real good thing?”

“Huh?” said Juan Williams, suddenly coming out of his hypnotic like trace, nervously looking around the TV studio for direction.

“And while we’re at it, we could wish all the liberals there too,” Brit Hume added, looking directly at Juan Williams, who was busy tapping his earpiece linking him to the control room. “Say Juan. You’re not a liberal, are you?”

As beads of sweat ran down his face, Juan Williams stood up from behind his desk, removing his earpiece. And as he held up his hands to the camera, he watched himself slowly begin to fade away.

Copyright © 2008-2010 by Robert W. Armijo

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