Comic-Con: “New Moon’ cast shadow over true meaning of convention,” say Nerds and Geeks

San Diego, California --
"I heard that the Star Trekkers are mounting a counter offence out by the Macho Nacho and Taco Stand," said Buck Goldstein, an avid comic book collector and Comic-Con attendee talking into his walkie-talkie to his friend Juan Gomez. "But I don't think anything will come of it."

"Yeah, you're right," replied Gomez through his walkie-talkie. "Those Star Trekkers are real pussies. Always trying to negotiate their way out of a conflict situation. If anyone is going to throw that 'New Moon' freak show out of here, it's going to be the Stormtroopers."

"Yeah, those guys are real bad asses," said Goldstein. "Hey, it's time to switch channels again."

Only it was too late for switching channels on walkie-talkies for Goldstein and Gomez. as security at the Comic-Con were already monitoring their conversation throughout the convention hall.

"That's the way get most of our Intel [intelligence]" said Sgt. Doug Colby, Chief of Comic-Con Security. "These guys come to this things with their walkie-talkies. That way they can split up and cover the most ground. Staking out the most interesting stuff at the show and then rendezvous there."

As the nerds and geeks were busy hatching their plot against the "New Moon" cast members for invading their turf, Sgt. Colby discreetly and strategically deployed his forces throughout the convention floor, ready to spring into action on a moments notice.

"They might be nerds and geeks you picked on when you were in high school. I know I did," said Sgt. Colby. "But they're very territorial and revengeful. Ever seen the movie, "Revenge of the Nerds'? It's the 'Deliverance' movie of my chosen profession. And a true story, too. Only the actual events on which the movie was based involved the bloodshed of innocent lives. Well, that's not going to happen on my watch."

"It's not fair," said Gomez over his walkie-talkie. "Adam West's booth is practically empty, while the 'New Moon' people won't even have enough time to sign autographs for the people that have been standing in line for the past 3 hours."

As the "New Moon" cast members happily signed away their autographs, they might as well have been signing their death certificates as unbeknownst to them an emanate attack was about to take place by the terror of the known galaxy far, far away, Stormtroopers.

"Well, I wouldn't get all that worked up about it," said Sgt. Colby as he picked up his walkie-talkie, slipped his Taser stun gun into its holster and got into a golf cart with another security guard headed out to the convention floor.

"But aren't the Stormtrooper really just a Tour de Force," questioned Goldstein over his walkie-talkie to Gomez.

According to Goldstein, because the Stormtroopers have spent so much money on their Star Wars costumes, often paying for them by making special appearances at parades, birthday parties and bar mitzvahs, they easily back down if confronted.

Suddenly Stormtroopers surrounded the "New Moon" booth, retaking control of the Comic-Con away from the Hollywood elites. But to the Stormtroopers' surprise both cheers and jeers rose up from the crowd.

"Okay, you Stormtoopers. Hold it right there," said Sgt. Colby, pulling up in a security gulf cart covered with "New Moon" movie ads mounted on its sides, hood and roof. "Put down your Blasters, or we'll have to Taser you."

"Don't those things leave a black mark?" asked a Stormtrooper with an orange sash to Sgt. Colby, who had his Taser stun gun pointed right at him.

"More of a charcoal gray really," replied Sgt. Colby as his Taser stun gun now flickered with a blue spark.

"Okay, that's it," spoke the Stormtrooper with an orange sash to the other Stormtroopers through their interlink-coms embedded in their helmets. "We're out of here boys. I didn't spend five grand on this genuine replica Stormtrooper uniform just to get it ruined by a rent-a-cop with a Taser stun gun and the I.Q. of a ferret."

"John Anderson? From La Jolla High School?" said Sgt. Colby as he approached the Stormtrooper with the orange sash on his shoulder. "Is that you under there?"

"Doug Colby?" replied the Stormtrooper with the orange sash on his shoulder, and a tremor in his voice, flinching slightly "You used to beat me up in high school for being a nerd."

"Yeah, those were the days, but they're long gone now," said Sgt. Colby, as he guided the Stormtrooper into the golf cart, placing his Blaster in the back. "Say, John, could I have a private word with you in my office?"

copyright © 2008-9 by Robert W. Armijo