Showing posts with label Speed. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Speed. Show all posts

Keanu Reeves’ Advice to Sandra Bullock Puts Her Under 24-hour Career Suicide Watch

Hollywood, California --

Calling an impromptu press conference to announce her latest agreed upon movie deal – the third installment of the original ‘Speed’ movie series, which she first starred in back in 1994 and 1997 -- a somewhat dazed looking, visibly shaken and obviously emotionally distraught, Sandra Bullock slowly crossed the stage still dressed in her polka-a-dot pajamas, fuzzy bear claw footy slippers and miffed up hairdo with some help from two female assistants at both her sides. As she sat down at a green felt topped table with a single microphone placed in the center of it, amateur journalists, seasoned reporters and war hardened correspondents alike looked on teary eyed at what had become of America’s Sweetheart.

Sandra Bullock’s family, closest friends and even ‘Speed’ co-star Keanu Reeves earlier in the predawn hours of the new day had attempted an intervention, trying to convince her to voluntarily commit herself to a psychiatric ward at a local hospital, but she refused.

“Instead Sandra stormed out of the house in the middle of the night, calling her publicist demanding that she immediately set up a press conference,” said a close family friend. “We didn’t know she was that upset. Not to the point of committing career suicide by agreeing to do another ‘Speed ’ movie.”

“I thank you all for coming so early today. Especially on such short notice,” said Sandra Bullock speaking just above a whisper, her eyes appearing puffy and red, as if she had been crying all night along. “I won’t be taking any questions regarding the disintegration of my marriage…or the betrayal of my trust in humanity. Just about my decision to reprise my recurring role in the ‘Speed’ movie series with my good, loyal and true friend, Keanu Reeves.”

Just then an assistant reappeared on stage, leaning down to whisper something into Sandra Bullock’s ear.

“What?” said a somewhat bothered Sandra Bullock, before she slumped her head into her hands. “Oh God. Why me? Why me?”

“When we tried to have her involuntarily committed,” continued Bullock’s close friend. “But we were told by both legal and medical professionals that she had to pose a physical danger to either herself or others, first.”

Seeing Sandra Bullock’s condition worsen before her eyes, the female assistant grabbed the microphone, attempting to cancel the rest of the press conference. Following a brief struggle between the two, however, Sandra Bullock prevailed, regaining control of the microphone, and her press conference.

“No! I said I’ll be fine!” screamed Sandra Bullock at her assistant. “Are you deaf or something?”

After taking a few minutes to compose herself, wiping away tears, blowing her nose and repeatedly placing her head down on the green felt table, just to raise it up again and again, Sandra Bullock continued.

“Well, it seems my trusted friend Keanu Reeves – a man -- has betrayed me, too,” said an embittered Sandra Bullock. “Now he says he has a prior commitment and can’t do the movie with me after all. Isn’t that just so typical of a man, changing his mind like he changes his socks, underwear or lovers. Well, I’m going to prove to y‘all -- especially you men out there -- that I don’t need you anymore. I’ll make ‘Speed 3: Road Rage’ all by myself, so there. I’ll show you.”

Upon hearing of Sandra Bullock’s intention to make another ‘Speed’ movie, however, a judge immediately approved the family’s petition to have the disturbed starlet remanded into the custody of a psychiatric hospital for observation and evaluation.

“Allowing the alleged mental patient to make another installment of the ‘Speed’ movie series is all the evidence this Court needs to prove both mental and emotional instability,” wrote the judge in his decision. “And therefore, I rule the alleged mental patient presents a clear and present danger not only to herself, but especially others as well.”

Copyright © 2008-2010 by Robert W. Armijo