Showing posts with label MVA. Show all posts
Showing posts with label MVA. Show all posts

Lady Gaga Honored with New “Steak and Eggs” Breakfast Menu Item at Family Restaurant Chain

Would you like fries with that?
Hollywood, California --

Anticipating that the new Lady Gaga’s Steak and Eggs Breakfast item will rival the success of its Grand Slam, Danny's restaurant in Hollywood is dressing up its waiters and waitresses in flank steak dresses and giant eggs costumes, greeting their elderly patrons as they come through the front door. And take shifts walking the sidewalk, attempting to entice passerby traffic and a new younger clientele into the establishment.

“I lifted the idea right off the page of Lady Gaga’s fashion sense book,” proudly confesses Albert Haze, the Danny's manager who came up with the idea of the Lady Gaga Special, a combining her raw meat dress she wore at the MTV Music Video Awards with her hatching from a giant egg on stage at the Grammy’s, turning it into a culinary delight..

“What the hell is going here!” said Maynard Watson, 87, as he enters the restaurant that he has been coming to since he was in the army in World War II. “Why are you wearing meat? And you there, why are dressed up like a giant chicken egg? Have y-all gone nuts or something?”

As Mr. Watson is gently escorted into the restaurant by a waitress in a flank steak dress and a giant egg he is told that the costumes are apart of a new breakfast menu special that Danny's is promoting and if would like to try it.

“Lady Gaga Special? What in the hell is that?” rhetorically replies Mr. Watson, as he breaks free of his Alice in Wonderland like escorts, without waiting for an explanation walking himself over to his favorite booth. “Just give me a Grand Slam! You godless communists!”

“Of course, the whole thing is a marketing scheme. An attempt at attracting a younger more desirable demographic to our restaurant chain,” explains Mr. Haze.

Mr. Haze and other similar family restaurant chains had tried appealing to the Baby Boomers for years but unsuccessfully so.

“They still see us as some place their moms and dads took them to eat,” Mr. Haze says smiling. “And they’re right, of course. I guess the appeal of Norms skips a generation.”

Danny's like other similar family oriented restaurants so popular across the American landscape after World War II and the prosperous 1950s have noticed an alarming precipitous decline in its elderly consumer base. Due mostly to misplaced car keys, revoked driver licenses and death by natural causes.

“Take Mr. Watson here for an example,” said Mr. Haze as he walks over to Mr. Watson’s booth. “He has been a regular customer here before this place was even Danny's. And way before I was born or even my parents were born. Isn’t that right Mr. Watson?”

“Forget you!” replied Mr. Watson as he hardly looked up from plate, eating his Grand Slam. “And forget your mother too!”

Mr. Haze just smiles kindly and whispers, “He hasn’t been the same since he lost his car keys two years ago.”

Each morning after finishing his Grand Slam breakfast and a visit to the bathroom, Mr. Watson walks out to the Danny's parking lot and sits in his abandoned car looking for his car keys to start up the motor.

“Would you look at that. It’s just like clockwork,” commented Mr. Haze. “He sits out there for about an hour or so before he gives up looking for his keys. Of course, he’ll never find them because his son took them away from him after he lost his divers license a couple of years back. He’s still looking for that too. But fortunately for us, he thinks he misplaced that in his cat’s litter box back at home.”

Finally, Mr. Watson gets out of his car, slams the car door shut in frustration and walks home, which is just down the block.

“I should have had his car towed away years ago,” confides Mr. Haze. “But I just don’t have the heart. Besides he’s a big tipper and the waitresses would kill me if I did.”

So as the Greatest Generation passes on, it is the hope of Danny's restaurant and others like it, that they will be replaced by a new generation: Generation-X.

“If this Lady Gaga Special thing doesn’t workout, I’ll be installing a skateboard ramp in the parking lot next,” said Mr. Haze. “Of course, we’ll have to tow Mr. Watson’s car away to make room.”

Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

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