Showing posts with label 2011. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2011. Show all posts

May 21, 2011 Doomsday Postponed…Until December 21, 2012?

Around the World --

The world let out a big sigh of relief just now, as the deadline (no pun intended) for the prediction of another doomsday occurrence scheduled for today passed us all peacefully by. Or was it, perhaps…only postponed?

"Off by 19 months to be exact," said Rupert Brown, a self-described survivalist, via a short-wave radio from his underground concrete reinforced hermetically sealed bunker in an undisclosed location somewhere in the Nevada mountains. "That’s when the real doomsday happens on December 21, 2012, according to the Mayan calendar."

According to Rupert Brown this doomsday, which was to occur on May 21, 2011 at 6:00 p.m. Pacific Standard Time was a dry run, conjured up by the authorities to get the citizen’s accustomed to the idea of global destruction without panicking.

Government studies have confirmed that when facing any doomsday scenario, panic is the real enemy of the people.

"Not some geological catastrophe, planet killer deep impact asteroid or Japanese nuclear power plant disaster," said Rupert Brown as he prepares to open up a can of Spam for dinner. "Yup, the real enemy governments’ fear is widespread panic by its citizens."

Rupert Brown says panic is responsible for causing most of the damage to the infrastructure than the natural disaster ever could…Most of the time.

"You see," explained Rupert Brown, as he began patting down his pockets. "There has to be something left for our captains of industry, elected representatives and high ranking members military to work with to rebuild our civilization when they reemerge from their secret underground shelters and the rest of us are all gone. Well, except for me, of course, because I’m prepared for whatever eventuality may happen…Damn it! Where did I put that can opener? Oh shit! I forgot to bring one! I’ll starve to death. Wait…I can’t breathe. Help! Help! Someone get me out of here! For the love of Christ get me out of here!"

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