President-elect Biden Asks President Trump for Permission to Measure the White House Basement

"Hey, man. How's it going?"

-- Washington, D.C.

By Robert W. Armijo

According to the president-elect transition team, Joe Biden has requested permission to visit 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. to see if the furniture from the Oval Office will fit in the White House basement.

“Sometime during the covid-19 pandemic and the course of the 2020 presidential campaign, Mr. Biden has become acclimated to a subterranean existence and as a result he feels more comfortable running the daily affairs as the newly elected leader of the free world from a cold, dark and damp place,” said a spokesman for Biden. "Therefore Vice President-elect, Kamala Harris will move into the vacant Oval Office to conduct her duties there."

An elaborate pneumatic tube system will be installed connecting the pentagon, CDC and Congress to the White House basement, so that the president will be able to sign documents from those departments, agencies and branches of the government in a secure and safe responsible social distancing manner.

 A metal pipe will run through the floor of the Oval Office down into the basement specifically to give the president daily updates on the covid-19 pandemic.

“One tap on the pipe by the vice president means the covid-19 pandemic is still ongoing,” continued the spokesman for Biden. “Two taps means, it’s over and that it is safe to leave the basement.”


Copyright © 2020 by Robert W. Armjio. All rights reserved.

Photo: By The White House from Washington, DC - V011013DL-0556, Public Domain,

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