Prince’s Toxicology Report Links Cause of Death of 'The Purple Rain Pop Star' to Muzak

It's Music!
Not Muzak.

By Robert W. Armijo

Prince's  toxicology report just released to the public confirmed initial reports that the purple rain pop star died at his home, while in his private elevator listening to  so-called elevator "music".

“Prince died as an almost direct consequence of listening to Muzak,” the toxicology report disclosed. 

Home security video footage taken from the elevator surveillance camera captured Prince’s final tragic moments on earth.

"At first, he raises his hands in an unsuccessful attempt to cover his ears, clutching at his heart instead," said the police. 

Then he staggers a moment before dropping to the elevator floor.

Specifically, a Muzak rendition of his '1999’ same track titled album, which did not hit the top ten initially, or critical acclaim until two years later, played in an endless loop in the purple pop star's private elevator.

Ironically, it is believed that the Muzak version of his ‘'1999’ 1982 release is what triggered the fatal seizure along with his alleged prescription drug addiction, as it lacked any artist integrity and represented instead pure appeal to conformity and commercialism, which the artist both privately (formally known as the symbol) stood for and yet detested in his public life as  a Jehovah's Witness as Bother Nelson.

A public service is planned to be held for Prince without any Muzak being played during the funeral service.

However, funeral directors could not promise attendees would not be exposed to any Muzak upon the conclusion of the final ceremony, as it is automatically piped in over the public address system at the end of all funeral services. 

So they warn, if you suffer from a preexisting medical condition, the Muzak could trigger a fatal seizure in you. 

“Better bring your own music,” advised a funeral director. “Or at least a pair of good ear plugs. Who knows, it may save your life.” 

Copyright © 2016 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

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