Kim Kardashian's Cleavage Causes New Cuban 'Missile Crisis'; Fidel Castro Makes 3 A.M. 'Booty' Call to White House to Complain

"At my age. it’s even had an effect on me. 
I had to sit down just to make this phone call. 
If you know what I mean, Mr. President?"

By Robert W. Armijo

Upon seeing Kim Kardashian’s cleavage spill out of a skintight white dress she was wearing during her visit to Cuba, Fidel Castro immediately picked up the hotline to the White House to talk to President Obama.

A transcript of that telephone conversation is as follows:
President Barack Obama: What can I do for you, Presidente Fidel Castro?

Presidente Fidel Castro: I thought the Cold War was over between us, Mr. President.

President Barack Obama: It is, Fidel. What do you mean?

Presidente Fidel Castro: Have you seen what your girl Kim Kardashian is wearing down here?

President Obama: No. What?

Presidente Fidel Castro: A white dress that's so tight it squeezes out her maracas for everyone to see. 

President Barack Obama: Really?

Presidente Fidel Castro: Yes. Right now, as we speak, millions of Cuban men are experiencing their very own 'missile crisis'. If you know what I mean, Mr. President..

President Barack Obama: I hear you, Fidel.

Presidente Fidel Castro: At my age, it’s even had an effect on me. I had to sit down just to make this phone call. If you know what I mean, Mr. President?

"Yup. I just saw the pictures myself. I know exactly what you mean. 
And I too have had to sit down."
President Barack Obama: Yup. I know exactly what you mean. I just saw the pictures myself. And I too have had to sit down. Aw, snap! And I thought that girl only had some booty on her. Looks to me like she has got a great pair of…What do you call them down there in Cuba, Fidel?

Presidente Fidel Castro: Maracas, Mr. President..

President Barack Obama: Right, maracas. Well, Fidel. This was all very informative, but I have to ask what’s the purpose of this call? You know, because I’m very busy with the up coming election. I got to do everything in my power to stop a mad man from winning the presidency in November.

Presidente Fidel Castro: Ah, yes. Senior, Donald Trump.

President Barack Obama: Actually, I was referring to Hillary.   

Presidente Fidel Castro: Well, Mr. President. I just called to make sure Kim Kardashian’s cleavage was not some kind of secret weapon you were deploying to disable the men in my military, while you invaded Cuba. After all, most of my men are immune to big booty, but they have virtually no immunity to cleavage.  And as you know, Cuba has only survived this long this close to a superpower like America by keeping on its toes. 

President Barack Obama: True. By the way, Kim Kardahian is the bomb. But she’s not our secret weapon.  

Presidente Fidel Castro: No? Then whose secret weapon is she?

President Barack Obama: Mother Nature’s, of course.

Presidente Fidel Castro: Of course. 

After President Obama hangs up. 

President Barack Obama: Damn it! We should've cloned and weaponized her when we had the chance.

After Presidente Fidel Castro  hangs up. 

Presidente Fidel Castro: Quick take a DNA sample from Kim Kardahian so we can  clone and weaponize her, while we still have the chance. 

Copyright © 2016 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

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