Meredith Baxter: “Hello! I said I’m gay! Is anybody out there?”

Santa Monica, California --

Former sitcom TV mom, Meredith Baxter, from the 1880s…sorry, from the 1980s show ‘Family Ties’ attempted to make the rounds on a second press junket after being knocked off the front pages and talks shows by the Tiger Woods sex scandal. However, after being turned down by booking agents, she had to settle for a press conference her manager arranged for her at the cliff side senior citizen center in Santa Monica, California.

“Hello,” said Meredith Baxter over the microphone as feedback echos crackled and popped over the captive audience of senior citizens. “Can everybody hear me? Good. You may all recognize me from my role as playing a straight mom on the TV show ‘Family Ties’. Well, I’d just like to come out and say that I’m gay now.”

“Hey, look everybody it’s that old spinster lady that always had her hair up from the ‘Facts of Life?” said one senior citizen. “Where’s our lunch anyways? I’m hungry. What’s taking so long?”

“No, no. You got me confused with someone else,” said Meredith Baxter as she fussed with her hair. “See, I wear my hair down. Not up…I played Michael J. Fox’s mother.”

“Oh, yeah,” yelled out one attendant from the back of the room. “I remember you.”

As carts slowly rolled out plastic lunch trays, Meredith Baxter desperately competed for the attention of the senior citizens which was now focused on the food being served.

“Hello!” sarcastically yelled out Meredith Baxter into the microphone, causing another feedback echo. “I said I’m gay! Is anybody out there?”

“What did she say?” asked a senior citizen of one of the attendants who was serving lunch.

“She said she was gay,” repeated the attendant.

"Lucky girl,” said the senior citizen. “I wish I had some Bengay, my rheumatism is acting up something awful.”

“No you old fool,” said another senior citizen. “She said she was gay! You know, like happy.”

Copyright © 2008-9 by Robert W. Armijo